Suck it Wolfsaq, Karnov rocks! How is it possible not to love the premise of a fire-breathing Russian circus strongman who must battle demonic hordes on his way to recovering the Lost Treasure of Babylon, after it's theft from the village of Creamina by the evil dragon Ryu? It just isn't. How a T-Rex counts as a demon, I don't know! But what I do know is that Jinborov Karnovski is a Nintendo hero of epic proportions, and I demand you to recognize!
You claim the gameplay is clunky, and complain that Karnov has to stop before equipping items. Can I ask the last time you vertically jumped twice your height while simultaneously erecting a ladder? Thought so. I forward that these mechanics, which you would term 'ass-tastic', add a level of realism and challenge to the gameplay.
Your so-called review also challenges the cultural authenticity captured by the genius minds of those at Data East. The limited color palette, which you state is a graphics shortcoming, is merely the observation that the desert regions of the Middle East are fairly monochromatic. You also attack the game soundtrack, referring to it as asylumn-esque, when there is no way of knowing if that monotonous deathrattle is in fact our proud Russian hero's regional anthem.
Finally, you complain of the limited number and variety of enemies and bosses. Honestly, how many demons is one evil dragon expected to have? I daresay you personally might have difficulty facing just one such demon, and Karnov is expected to fight his way through literally 10's of them.
Your review is also littered with references to the flabby stature of our hero. But it is my suspicion that these disparaging remarks are only to cover a much more sinister prejudice. I submit that if one were to put Karnov in a red cap and suspenders he would bear a striking resemblance to a certain Italian plumber, a plumber I might add that I've never heard you speak one word against. What then is it about this human dynamo that you truly find so objectionable? Could it be...his lack of hair? Are you sir a baldest?
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I think it's refreshing having some good rebuttals against a review. The review was great and obviously controversial, and it's always nice to see opposing views. I'm sure some people hate games that I love and vice versa -- nothing wrong with that!
