Hey everyone,

I wanted to take a few moments to talk about an issue that's come to my attention recently. I have to admit that when I heard about it, I was embarrassed.

Imagine for a minute that a group of guys at a company make the discovery that a female co-worker has posed nude in a publication (online, print, doesn't matter). The guys then proceed to pass around the information, add her to the water-cooler talk and gibe her about it in the hallways, not really considering the consequences of their actions or the feelings of the person they're talking about. The next day, every single one of the guys is fired after she briefly hints at the words sexual harassment to HR.

This is sexual harassment.

I'm not asking for a debate, different interpretations of the law (unless you were the judge handling this case), etc. – this was taken from a real case, in a real court-of-law, and was the actual outcome of the actions of these employees. The defense claims the materials were in the public domain. The judge disagreed saying that because she didn't solicit the suggestive materials at work, didn't pose in provocative ways at work, and didn't request sexual encounters at work, that this type of dissemination was considered harassment.

This is happening on NintendoAge.

Stepping back a moment, away from the whole legality of sexual harassment, I want to just say that I think it's pretty crappy that a few members would go out of their way to make another member feel unwelcome (for any reason). I've seen recent chat logs where a female member asked other members to stop passing around their information and they wouldn't stop. When the female member left (and in some cases before she arrived), I continually saw her brought up time and time, with more and more disrespect taking place. If asking the other guys in the chat room if they've seen her breasts isn't disrespectful to her, whether she's there to defend herself or not, I don't know what is.

So to be clear: what she said, what she wore, what you think she wants, what you feel she deserved, what you found out about her, what you saw of her – it's irrelevant. By her not bringing it to NintendoAge and not wanting it on NintendoAge makes it sexual harassment when you talk about it on NintendoAge and spread it around on NintendoAge.

The simple truth of it is that she simply wants to be part of our community without feeling objectified, singled-out, and harassed on a daily basis. As a community, we should be defending each other, not attacking or objectifying one another. If you see this happening, be the better person and say something about it.

I'll invite your constructive comments, but I really don't want this to turn into a semantics war over the legality issue. I feel like a fellow member was wronged and we need to do better as a community to ensure people feel welcomed. I invite ideas on how we can improve this and make all members, female or male or otherwise, feel welcomed.

Thanks,
-Dain

 

Wow, that's messed up. My two cents to whichever losers were involved in this is: You're on the internet on a site to connect with new friends about our hobby that, if you're anything like me, most people in your life can barely relate to. Nobody in life is "just a piece of meat" and definitely not on THIS site, which has respect for everyone who shows up, and for the most part is a group of really, really solid people.

Since you are accessing this "on the internet", may I suggest if you want to find some lewd things to see/talk about - there's plenty of it out there. This site is not one of those places. Don't mix the two up, in any way.

I'm greatly bothered by this type of stuff, and hope that the person who felt wronged is able to still enjoy the site after this, and also encourage anyone involved to apologize and grow the hell up.

Wow.

If you need a barometer for what it looks like to lack class, look no further than whatever group made Dain feel it was necessary to make this post.

Yikes, there's definitely no place for that kind of conduct here...or anywhere.

 

Thank you Dain. Hasn't happened to me recently, but its that kind of behavior that got me to leave chat and stay away years ago. Sure, most of the guys here are respectable, but the few even if one or two could cause one to feel so uncomfortable that she, or even he (if it were the other way around) would avoid being in a place altogether. After I had made a complaint about it then, I still went back for a little bit, tried to brush it off, afterall it was only words, perhaps I was over reacting, try to cope with the jerk that made the offending remarks, or if he did again, at least ignore him, but soon after I decided it best to just still with the forums, that I still wasn't comfortable on there afterall, so I just never went back on. No one should have to feel this way ever.

I really cant believe theres people like this on nintendoage. I never thought about this site in that way. I really hope this stops and I hope the woman it was pretaining too doesnt give this site a bad rep just because of some assholes.

But you or anyone else should not have to feel like they have to avoid a part of this community due to someone elses behavior or comments.  Sorry you feel you have to avoid chat, sometimes there are some good converstations.

If ANYONE is feeling like they should limit their interaction on this site, it should be brought to the mods attention. This isn't "tattling" or whatever anyone would call it. Thanks, Dain, for showing where the standard is.

He isn't raising the bar, but showing that the bar has always been this high and that this is a classy site (the classiest).

As a person who frequently makes horribly disgusting off color jokes in chat (on the rare instances I'm in chat) even I find this disturbing. All too frequently sexual harassment takes place on the internet. Most communities sweep this kind of stuff under the rug and try to handle it behind closed doors (if any action is ever even taken), so the fact Dain has made a topic about it is an excellent step..although I feel its a step that never should have had to be taken. Much redirect to whoever the woman is...You spoke out, which is the only way to prevent/ stop these kind of situations, kudos to you.

Dain, thank you for this post. Hopefully this will be the last we all hear of such ridiculousness.

Ridiculous. Pathetic. No one should be subjected to that.

I know I've probably made my share of inappropriate comments in the past, but there's no way I've ever meant them in any way to be malicious or to make anyone feel uncomfortable. My appologies to anyone who has ever found anything I've said previously to be offensive in any way. However, I would also appreciate such things being brought to my attention by any party who feels as such so I can do my best to try not to repeat it in the future. Sometimes people make others uncomfortable without even knowing it, and what is a funny off-colour remark to one person could be the most offensive thing in the world to another. In other words, I'll probably offend some people in the future, albeit inadvertantly. So please, if I'm being a dick, tell me.

Chat is NORMALLY fun and light hearted. This recent event is something that really should have been avoided... It's really kind of embarrassing to all the chat regulars that had no part in it. Unfortunately I don't know that this post will reach certain people...

Hmmm, I don't go in chat but hopefully the chatters will heed this warning. Sexual harassment is really a matter of pespective. You could have one girl who welcomes dirty jokes and it's fine. You could have another who absolutely hates it and it becomes harassment. So when in doubt, default to not joking about anything.

But you got to admit, there's a ton of guy on guy jokes on the forums (which I'm actually not a fan of, but I'm not offended either... I just don't comment). Or even plenty of Deniz jokes when he was underage.

Once again, back to the perspective thing, if Deniz was offended, then there was plenty of sexual harassment on the forums. But yet he's cool with it so everyone got their laughs. But if there's questionable behavior on the forums, then it doesn't exactly set a great precedence for chat.

My thoughts on the matter:

















and move on

I love Nintendo Age. You guys have been very welcoming ever since I joined. I think we have a very nice community here, and I really hope it stays that way. Even though I've had my disagreements with a few people, they're always pretty mature about it and we still get along just fine.

It is sad that anyone has to feel unwelcome here. Anyone making someone else feel uncomfortable or unwelcome is doing a great disservice to both Nintendo Age and their selves and I think that deserves some sort of punishment.

The chat room is usually not too bad, but it does get kind of.. out of hand every once in a while. There have been times where I started to feel unwelcome and ended up leaving. Last year when my girlfriend was on cam we ended up getting a few weird suggestive comments, but it really didn't bother her or myself. We were cool with it (pretty sure it was all in jest), but I can see how it could really freak someone out. I wish people would act more mature in general though, especially at the expense of someone's feelings :\

I think this should be added to the Nintendo Age faq and that it should be grounds for immediate removal from Nintendo Age. We only have a handful of women that are on Nintendo Age to begin with and I would hate for it to remain that way as female gamers are just as big into gaming as male gamers. I would also like to add that I've seen some racist remarks in chat as well. There should be a zero tolerance policy for bigotry, sexual harassment, and overly lude or sivious behavior.

I want to keep Nintendo Age fun and enjoyable like everyone else and it saddens and disgusts me at some of the things I hear and see on Nintendo Age that, by the way, isn't remotely game related. I've said it before that I consider Nintendo Age to be a part of my family and when a member of Nintendo Age is singled out and put down, that's nothing more than an immature bully tactic. Immaturity extends to all ages and doesn't end at adulthood. I think that if there were a few bans for very inappropriate behavior it would be a wakeup to the community. At the very least I do believe there should be a suspension of members when they do something wrong and if it happens again then there should be a ban. This will at least give members a second chance to correct their behavior and allow them the opportunity to still be with NA.

The avatar photo of the_wizard_666 is how I feel right now.

This thread should be stickied for future viewing.

I became aware of the situation in chat last night, and the things that the female user in question has been having said to her are way way way over line.  I felt really bad for her.  No user's should ever be treated the way she was, male or female.  I get what you are saying about perspective, but what has happened to her is just wrong from any perspective.

Two things are really disturbing ;

1 - She asked them to stop and i didnt happen -- Even if you thought it was funny in the beginning this is the point where you have to know when to stop.

2 - Personal info got passed out between members.-- Even if it wasn`t about nudity/ being a female or whatever what. That`s an awfull thing to do. I would be very offended if my personal stuff/foto`s or whatnot would be exchanged by members.

Even if this is internet and the majority male there is no excuse.

ditto.

So these actions were said in live chat or in PMs?  Maybe actual chat moderators could be appointed to police the room if things are always getting out of hand.

I know that back in the IRC days, @ChanServ used to whoop ass and take names like no other.  Kudos to anyone who actually gets that reference.

i take some responsibility, mosta the shits my fault, i also put 2 na member's marriage on the rocks, Tai the douche at his best. But you know, originally no harm was ever ment for it, had i known the outcome of most of this, i woulda kept the http to myself.

Ths had been happening in live chat.  I get that chat is like the "Mos Eisley" of Nintendo Age, and that's what I like about it.  I don't think anyone has a right to not be offended in general, but there is a big difference between being offended and being outright harrassed, and what's been going in this situation rises to the level of harrassment.

i'm glad I decided not to stay on my computer much last night

I would actually visit chat if it were on IRC.  Are there no moderators on NA chat?  I know it's some off-site web-based thing (can't remember who is hosting it).

NA mods come in, but no one ever really moderates chat

and its tinychat