#11 Beatrice
What brought you to NA?
It is a bit of a long story. The events that led me to NA started in 2008, at Gen Con '08, Indianapolis, Indiana (food there sucks, btw, and they have NO COFFEE!). I went there to meet people from a forum I used to visit back then and shared a hotel room with three other girls who I got along really well.
One of them, a really good friend who is 10 years younger than me, was really into playing and collecting old school video games. Seeing her excitement about it, how happy she was when I got her Megaman 1, 2 and 3 and a few other carts as a gift and visiting the few video game booths over there made me think I should revisit some of the old classics of my childhood when I went back to Brazil.
So I got myself a Phantom System and some games to play. But it wasn't till 2010 that I started looking for online communities to discuss the hobby with. That is when I found Nintendo Age, 8 days after my 30th birthday.
How did you discover the contests? And what brought you back into the fold?
Incidentally, one week after I joined, Nesruler hosted the Punch Out! weekly contest. Since I visited the Gamer's Gauntlet fairly often, I couldn't help but see it.
Punch Out! happens to be my favourite game of all time and I was half decent at it back then, with hands still good enough for the twitch reactions it requires, so I decided to take part.
I was baffled over the fact that people were having trouble beating Super Bonus Stage Man on round 1. He is the Glass Joe of World Circuit!
Somehow I ended up getting my first win on the contest that week by a fairly sizeable margin, and it just happened to be the very first time I was taking part on it. Pretty quirky, all things considered.
It was quite fun, but I am not a very competitive lass, so I only partake on a few games here and there since, till last year when Guts brought me back for Ghosts 'n Goblins.
I had fun and decided to take part on a few more games, and try for a full season to see if it would be just as fun this year.
So you all can blame Guts for me taking part the full year in 2017.
Walk us through a day in the life of Bea
I usually wake up at 6 am, feed the kitties, put water to boil to make coffee, empty my bladder then do 25 push ups and 50 crunches while I wait for the water to boil.
Make some coffee that is as black as the night, as bitter as my soul and strong enough to punch me in the face and have breakfast, usually a light sandwich with a side fruit.
Pass time browsing the internet, petting the kitties and reading the news, finally put on some clothes at 7:20 am and leave home to walk to work at 07:30 am.
Get to work at 8 am, check e-mails, skype, run through all the clients to check the status of their installed boxes, check the server services, argue with my associate, get down to code new features or fix bugs, fight with mobile development, curse at HTML and javascript like a sailor and punch walls out of frustration.
At 12:30 pm I leave for lunch, usually three side salads, white rice, cooked black beans and a serving of chicken breast. Have a ice lolly as dessert and resume the same activities I was doing in the morning at office.
Some days are quieter with few things to do, like today, where I am being able to answer your questions.
At 05:30 pm I end my shift and walk back home, getting there at 06:00 pm. Put water to boil to make coffee, feed the kitties wet food and eat supper. Then go to the gym or use my home equipment to exercise for the next 40 minutes. Leg day is Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Everything else goes on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
After exercising I shower and now take my hormones since my body no longer make them and sit to drink my shot of rum, play/beat games, talk to friends online, get my reading fix or watch films/series on Netflix.
Between 10:30 I do a three minutes plank and go to bed to sleep.
I get weekends off, so I go buy groceries, practice sewing for cosplay, distil my batches of rum if they have fermented long enough, get some boxing going on the gym and sometimes go out to find some adult fun or hire a professional to help me "relax". I also get more gaming done on weekends. I am not very social, so I don't go out often.
On Sundays I wake up at 4 am to go for a 5K run at 5 am as well.
That is pretty much it.
You know, I distinctly recall you talking about these "professionals" before, but couldn't find it. Who's more relaxing, those of the female or male persuasion?
I only hire of male persuasion, mostly because I can't go to a bar or clubbing and find a nice looking man who will give me 20 minutes of foreplay and 30 minutes of cuddling after the deed? Or just foreplay and cuddling and no deed? Or just cuddling?
By the meagre value of 300 USD per hour, I can get those with a well mannered man with a nicely trimmed beard and a six pack who knows how to push my right buttons. And I don't need to be faking any orgasms to not insult or make the guy angry.
Men seem to take it as a personal insult if the woman doesn't orgasm, at least on my experience. It was as if I had insulted them and their whole family three. Quite weird. Faking every time it got old more than 10 years ago, so it is just nice to not have to bother with it by hiring a "professional".
Girls are much more understanding of my needs and of the fact that I am on the 10% group of women that just can't get the big o, so I don't need to hire professionals for that.
How many times have you been to America?
Only once, at that occasion but I will be there again in December. My young friend is marrying her girlfriend and she made a clear point that I am family to her and have to be there on her special day.
So I will comply. This time it will be in Las Vegas, though. I hope food and coffee there don't suck, but I am going to take my own coffee ground and pot to make my own just in case.
Do you hate that we call it America? I know many foreigners find that self-centered, but I honestly think it's because there is nothing else to call us. Staters? Colonists?
I have always found it weird, but there isn't really a better way to call it. Your Country name sucks! You guys should have picked a better name!
What other countries have you been to?
Mostly South America ones. Argentina, Paraguay, Uruguay, Bolivia and Colombia, the last two I visited for work related matters. Funny how far away a single Excel spreadsheet can make you travel.
Girlfriend?
I am fooling around with a girl I have meet at the Brazil Renault factory last month, when we were deploying a proof of concept of our system for them to test.
Don't think it will get serious as I am more of a lone wolf and terrible girlfriend material. A good half of my romantic relationships break ups were all my fault and she would be better off with a more caring woman or man.
Mind telling us about the stabbing incident?
I will get to this tonight, after I get a drink. It gets... a bit dark.
Okay, I am now tipsy enough to answer this one now.
So, it was around August 2004. It was about 11 months since the man I fell in love during college with and was set to marry left me suddenly because we had been trying to have a child since early 2002 and I couldn't conceive. Finally a fertility test in 2003 pointed that I was as fertile as a donkey and 2 days later he just left me, leaving me a letter saying that since I couldn't get pregnant he couldn't stay with me, as he wanted a boy of his own blood.
So I sworn off men after that and lost my job a few months after that. While I was between jobs, I started wooing women till that fated night.
I was flirting this beautiful 19 years old lass outside one of the main LGBT clubs here in Curitiba. Everything was going perfect. I was scoring, we were making out, she was a bit tipsy, but not drunk enough to not give consent... I was sober because I was abstinent back then. All was going too perfect. So I started to get worried because that is when things tend to go awfully wrong, you know?
When stuff is just too perfect, it means the perfect storm is going to hit soon. And so I saw these three drunk frat boys with the side of my eye pointing and starting to move towards us. I knew exactly what they would do. They would drag us out to somewhere empty and dark and give us a "corrective rape". It wouldn't be my first time on the receiving end of that, but I just couldn't let this beautiful, young girl suffer that fate, so I told her to seek shelter at the club and I stayed behind to delay those guys. Since there were a few men out and about the general area, and I wasn't feeling like spending my next morning at a police station, being judged for being raped and doing a report that would take nowhere, I decided to try to provoke them to increase their aggression levels. Figured that they would start to beat me up, men out an about would see it, rage about a woman being beaten by three men and would intervene. I would get home beaten up, with some bruises and it would have been the best outcome possible for the night.
But instead one of them drew a knife, stabbed me and they ran away. Wasn't too serious at least since I got medical aid quite soon and the girl ended up unharmed, so I guess it was a happy ending.
Never got to see the girl again. Have seen one of my assailants 4 or 5 years ago, but I just avoided him. Maybe he became a good father or something like that and some old wounds are not worth revisiting.
After that I decided that being a lesbian was a bit too dangerous and went back to dating men. Maybe I shouldn't, since that led me to dating the abusive arsehole.
Things are much better now around here, at least. 3 years ago I was checking a newspaper from my hometown and there was this section about our valentine's day that happens on June 12th with couples declaring their love for each other and there was a lesbian couple among the ones published. I cried tears of joy.
While there is still stigma about LGBT couples, those youngster most likely won't be met with the kind of violence I was and that make me damn happy.
There was a positive side to this, at least. It set me on the path to become a strong, heartless woman.
Now I need another shot of rum... this was heavy.
Tell us all about Brazil. Pretend that 60% of what I know I learned from City of God
Let me just start telling you that City of God is complete fiction. Rio de Janeiro is nowhere near that nice.
Violence and corruption there are much, much worse than portrayed on the film.
But it is also a bit tough to talk about Brazil. It is a huge, diverse country. We are only behind the US in landmass. While I have been to several different places ranging from the rich São Paulo, the beautiful Aracaju, the violent Salvador, the even more violent Rio, the poor and tiny Xambioá among others, I have not been exposed to all our culture to paint a perfectly accurate picture of my country.
We have a very diverse population. It is more European like down here in the south where I live, but it gets more diverse and mixed the more north you go. Overall, people are friendly and welcoming for the most part. We have all matters of regional delicious foods and drinks for each of our 27 states of the federation, and quite interesting culture and parties, ranging from more indigenous ones to ones inherited from from the various people who immigrated to the country in the late 1800s, early 1900s. Curitiba, where I live has a rich mixture of Polish, Ukrainian, Russian, Japanese, Italian, German and more recently, Haitian cultures and populations, for example. The Haitians are very recent. They started immigrating here shortly after that huge earthquake that hit Haiti years ago. We lost one of our heroes there that day, Zilda Arns.
Castro, some 100 miles from here, were my parents live and were I was raised is more German, Dutch and Japanese. São Paulo is an absolute melting pot, with immigrants from almost every country in the world, but with very strong Portuguese and Japanese communities. The more north you go, the more indigenous it gets. We also have a sizeable population of people of African descent, as sadly slavery was a driving force of our economy between 1600 and 1800s. We didn't have a war to free them, at least. Princess Isabel, acting as Regent of Brazil while her father, Emperor Pedro Second of Brazil was being treated in Europe for an illness signed the Lei Áurea (The golden law) freeing all the slaves on 13 May 1888.
I consider the coup that took Emperor Pedro Second of Brazil from power on 15 November 1889 to install the republic one of the biggest mistakes ever made by my country. But I digress.
Overall, Brazil is a quite nice country if you avoid the more violent places like Rio like the plague. One of our main problems is that corruption is endemic in all social classes here, and that is well represented by our politicians. If you read on Operation Car Wash or the Mensalão, you will have a better idea of how deep and troubling our corruption levels are.
If you ever plan to visit Brazil, I suggest staying the hell away from Rio de Janeiro and Salvador. I have been to Rio once in 2008 and saw a man being shot point blank while on a cab on the way from the airport to my hotel in Copacabana, which had bullet proof walls and windows, graded for military grade weapons.
That was the day I stopped being an abstainer and started drinking alcohol.
At Salvador, I was very strongly encouraged to not go walk around after the sun set by the hotel staff.
What are the solutions to these complicated problem? Can they be solved? There is an obsession in our own country with being well armed so that the citizens can revolt against a corrupt government if need be. The idea in practice seems ludicrous.
Yeah, it is quite ludicrous. I am all for legal carry, but that idea is pretty stupid.
Allowing law abiding citizens to carry hand guns here would help diminish the violence problem. Gun violence actually went up after the government passed a new set of gun laws pretty much soft banning them in 2003.
OF course, criminals do not abide to laws and now they have .50 machine guns, assault rifles, anti material guns, RPGs and other "harmless" stuff like that while the common citizen can't even carry his .38 loaded to the range. And the bureaucracy just to acquire a single gun is mind blowing. And you are also limited to buy 50 rounds of ammunition for that gun per year.
But for the other problems, nothing short of a serious investment and effort on education will solve it. The only way to solve corruption is by teaching the people to be less corrupt themselves.
We are having some serious results with the Car Wash operation here with an ex-president sentenced to prison, his successor impeached last year, her vice being investigated of several corruption charges, and he himself might up impeached before the term is up, but that will only put a small dent on the problem.
Other people here dream of a second military dictatorship. Sure, things overall were better for most of the population back then, but corruption also ran deep during those times and they left us with an hyperinflation of over 1,000% per year. Not very fun times, those were.
And in the end, politicians are just the mirror of the people who voted them in. So since people here are corrupt, it is only expected that they would be just as corrupt.
Fix the people and in a few tens of years, the Government itself will be less corrupt.
How many games do you think you've beaten?
This is a tough one. I should put it all on a spreadsheet one of these days.
But let's see... NES is at almost 300 games beaten from my last calculation. SNES is at around 170 games beaten to this day, Genesis is at 95. I need to revisit the Genesis. Sega Master system is at about 30 games, Gameboy is a sad 6 (only ports of the Neo Geo fighting games by Takara), some 70 Neo Geo games, about 20 arcade games and some 50 PC/MSX games.
That is counting from since I started playing games, back in 1983.
So I am at around 741 games beaten so far.
Top 15 games of all time
Oh boy, this will be a strange one.
Mike Tyson's Punch Out! - I could never beat this one when I was a wee lass, but it was responsible turning me in to a Boxing lover. I must have beaten it 400+ times since I got it back in October, 2008. I used to play it 15, 20 times every night between then and the Punch Out contest. Since beating cancer in 2013, I couldn't get back to the same level I was at it, but I can still beat every one at round 1. I play this game at least once every two months these days. Best game of all time.
Ghosts 'n Goblins - NES - This game literally saved me. I got it as a gift from the young friend I gifted the Megaman games at Gen Con in early 2010. Along with it there was a note that said "If you can beat this, you can dump that abusive boyfriend of yours". I had never played it before, only the Genesis and SNES ones, but I beat it using continues in 3 days. Then without continues in 2 days. I dumped the abusive prick the following weekend and have been free ever since. All thanks to Ghosts 'n Goblins. I love this game.
Super Pitfall - NES - I got this one along Gauntlet and Super Mario Bros with the Phantom System from my parents in 1988. It was the very first NES game I have ever beaten, even though I have no idea how I did it without a guide. It is such a delightful game to play.
Pit Fighter - Arcade - One of my favourite arcade games ever. I played it so much back in 1991 and 1992, when the local arcade replaced it with SF2
. Too bad the home ports always failed to deliver.
Rolling Thunder - NES/Arcade - This is another one I only got to play when I was already an adult. About as easy as GnG, but not as epic. Still an excellent game that people should play for an easy challenge.
Superman - NES - It is tough to explain the charm this one has. I am a huge Superman fan and my parents got me this when I was young. Played it so, but so much. It will always have a special place in the muscle that pumps blood which rests on the left side of my chest.
King of Fighters 98 - This one was a constant company during my early college years. I always had more male friends than female, and my group back then was really into it. I would cut my hair short, put on some male clothes so I would be unmolested by the other arcade goers and we would hit the local arcades to play Vs games on it. So much fun was had.
Golden Axe - Genesis/Arcade - I could play as a woman who kicked butt? SIGN ME IN! Freaking Tyris Flare. I need to cosplay her one of these days, but I lack the tracts of land to do so.
Zelda - Wand of Gamelon - Play as Zelda... an ugly, flat chested, blood thirsty, murderous one at that. That game was made for me. It is full of bugs, the pacing is all wrong, the controllers suck. How can I not love this?
Ultima VII - The Black Gate - PC - My younger brother and I played this one entirely too many times. We had to buy a new PC mouse every month or so between 1996 and 1998.
Art of Fighting 1 & 2 - Neo Geo - Putting these two together as they aren't really very different between them. The graphics on this blew my mind back then. The sprites were huge, and then there was King, who always tried to pass as a man and Mr. Karate/Takuma (sooo hot) who quickly became two of my favourite video game characters. People say the gameplay on this isn't good, but I call that nonsense.
Rambo - NES - Another game I love to play. It is so random and follows the plot of Rambo 2 is such a weird way. I enjoy playing this one entirely too much!
Final Fight - Arcade/SNES - I have a thing for games where you can play as a middle aged, shirtless, muscle bound, ex wrestler mayor and go beat the heck out of punks. I also have a thing for middle aged shirtless, muscle bound, wrestler video game mayors. But magazines here also ran big articles over Poison being trans and that blew my mind. A non gender conforming character in a video game. It was huge for me back when I was 12.
Growl/Runark - Arcade/Genesis - This was one of the other few games the local arcade had along with Pit Fighter when I started to frequent them. Beating countless on screen poachers with fists, kicks, revolvers, assault rifles, bazookas, swords, clubs, iron pipes and whips as an Indiana Jones look alike. It was heaven.
Yu Yu Hakusho Final - SNES - And another fighting game that I played a lot with my friends during high school. So much fun was had with this one. So many quality hours spent with friends around the SNES, kicking each other's butts. Not that I had one back then, I hadn't discovered the power of squats, but still. Many found memories grant this game the last spot on my list.
Worst game you've ever played
Storm Over the Desert on the Action 52, but someone had to beat it for the 2016 thread, so I took one for the team.
Micro Mike would be a close second.
Dream NES contest line-up, 2 per genre
Action/Platformer:
Ghosts 'n Goblins/Super Pitfall
Arcade:
Rolling Thunder/Paperboy 2
Beat 'Em Up:
Double Dragon 2/Kung Fu
Puzzle:
Klax/Tengen Tetris
Shooter/Shoot 'Em Up
Ikari Warriors (it counts, right?
)/Super Dimension Fortress Macross (Famicom)
Sports:
Soccer/Mike Tyson's Punch Out!
What SNES game would you like to see in the contest?
Super Punch Out! I am nowhere decent at it, but it would be a bloodbath with a lot of people getting it down to frame perfect KO times.
SNES or Genesis
Genesis. I had an SNES during high school, but I have grown to appreciate the Genesis more.
SNES has gems like Super Mario World, A Link to the Past, Street Fighter 2 Turbo Hyper Fighting, International Super Star Soccer, some of the Kirby games, Disney's Magical Quest, Star Fox among others.
But the Genesis had Strider, Streets of Rage 1 & 2, Golden Axe, Fantasia, Quack Shot, the best port of Pit Fighter, Growl, Super Monaco GP, a much faster processor and some really great games to go with it. The 64 colours limit hurt it for sure, but I give an slight edge for the Genesis over the SNES.
I noticed a lack of anything resembling a modern game on your list of favorites. Happier era? Simpler gameplay? The charm of terribad primitive games?
Modern games cost just too damn much here. The N64 was released for 599 USD here, the PS1 about the same, likewise with the Saturn.
The trend got worse with the PS2 and XBOX, but I still had an XBOX since I won one at a .Net Microsoft event, and if I had a 16th spot for my favourite games, Ninja Gaiden Black would be there. Damn good game, despite being so easy.
The PS3 was released here 8,000 BRL. At that time that was 2,500 USD. The XBOX 360 had a more reasonable price, at around 900 USD.
Same with the PS4, announced by Sony for the meagre amount of 1,800 USD, with the XBOX one costing a bit less than 800 USD.
An AAA tile sets you back almost 100 USD here. I got better things to do with my money. Getting two Nintendo 2DS for my nephew and niece with a total of 8 games set me back 900 USD, but in this case was money damn well spent. It was their first videogames and they love it.
This xmas I am getting each one of them a Switch, which go for the cheap price of 500 USD per here. But they deserve it. Let them experience the good games of today and build the foundations of their nostalgia for 15, 20 years from now.
2017 contest champ prediction?
It will be either Tables, Arnpoly or Michael.
There is a high chance I will have to reject my tournament invitation. There are some more important matters here that I will have to take care of very soon.
That doesn't sound good. How are things going with the temple of Bea? Most of us are probably aware of your past medical issues.
There might still be a minor surgery for me before the year ends to remove my left tonsil, but that is not what will likely impede me from participating.
Mom was diagnosed with onset dementia recently, just like her mother before her, and her mother's mother, her mother's mother's mother and so on. It came earlier than we expected, though. Women of her side of family always had dementia and or Alzheimer's at old age.
So Dad asked me to go back there to help take care of her before 2018 ends and I of course agreed. I remember how tough it was to take care of my grandmother while Alzheimer's consumed her. May Odin grant me strength to handle the day she won't remember who I am.
That will involve a lot of logistics, selling my controlling shares of my company, leaving my job among other things. And the whole emotional burden involved.
Since I learn how to brew my own rum, we decided that the easiest way for me to move back there and not have my financial future to be too compromised will be to open my own rum brewery there, with a starting capacity of 20,000 litres per year. Dad has recently found the perfect location for us to build it, so I have to start dealing with acquiring the property, acquiring the machinery needed, identifying suppliers, learning how to deal with distribution lines, how to reach the market, how to best brand my product and how to market it.
Luckily, I have been feeling too old for this IT shit I have been doing for 17 years, so this part of the change will be welcome. But I will have to deal with a lot of paperwork and enrol onto proper courses so I can manage the brewery properly. And I will also be made the legal guardian of my mother as she loses her faculties, which will involve a lot more paperwork.
This all will start being set in motion around the same time the tournament will take place.
I'd love to have my own brewery. Granted the competition here seems to ramping up every year and I assume we're at or near market saturation, but it's a nice dream. Plus I don't know jack about the process, and long ago forgot all my business and management training
Up there it seems the home brew scene is mostly beer, at least from what I see. Here we don't have many micro brews, which is damn sad, specially since our beer sucks so much half of it is made of corn...
But I got pretty good at making rum, and I am on the verge of finding a special, personal recipe for a spiced rum. I believe I will manage to get a decent market for my booze here.
Of course, once I have the recipe, I will go out and about collecting addresses from the contest goers to send you all one bottle of my special rum.
I lost my grandparents to that as well. My dad has a younger wife so we'll see what happens but I'm already trying to get him to find more things to keep his mind engaged. Damn those cure-giving sharks for getting loose, eating Samual L. Jackson, and forcing us to kill them
Funny you mention sharks eating people, because that is exactly how I will go when I turn 65 years old and dementia will be upon me. I will get my boat, drop some meat in a shark infested area, unsheathe my machete, undress and jump down to die fighting them.
I will not let dementia take me.
Since I will be adopting two teen kids when I turn 50, 13, 12 years from now, they will be old enough to carry whatever empire I built when I go like this.
Odin will surely tell me that was stupid, but much more honourable than dying a shell of myself and will welcome me to Valhalla.
But here's to your dad not getting it. It is the worst thing and I wouldn't wish it upon my rapists.
Favorite movie?
Conan the Barbarian. The scenario, the music, the camera angles, the story, James Earl Jones acting, Sandahl Bergman as strong woman Valeria, Arnie as Conan, the quotes (What is best in life?).
I can watch that film so, so many times and I will never go tired of it.
Favorite book?
Dune. I found a beat up copy in a thrift store around 1999 of the last print Brazil got of it in 1984.
Young brother and I read it so, but so many times it fell apart. It is a damn good book and sets a lot of foundations for Sci-Fi.
I only got to read the rest of the series, along with LOTR (because it too was out of print in Brazil) in early 2000 after we ordered the English prints of them from Amazon for 1998 xmas.
Odin bless my older brother for totalling the car my parents gave him 3 years before we were of age to learn how to drive. They were planning to give me and my younger brother a car when we turned 18 as well, but that made them decide to spend 5,000 USD per year to have us learn English instead.
Much better investment than a bloody car. I can't even drive and the world is a better place for me not having a drivers license.
Favorite TV show?
El Chapulin Colorado.
Favorite band/album?
I had a lot of bands through the years that I called my favourites, but I have settled up with Blue Oyster Cult, with the album mirrors being my favourite.
Canada or US?
Canada. It is a saner place than the US plus it is scientifically proved that Canada men have a lower amount of cooties than US men.
Canada also has a sexy Mississauga ninja who sports a Salvador Dali moustache. That gives Canada a distinct advantage.
Predict the final top 8 for Bad Street Brawler
Red
Me
Tables
Arnpoly
Michael
You
Ninji
Richard
What is your favorite BSB attack?
The pile drive is pretty good. So is the gut knee. I love when I have them.
Or when there are breakdancers, I love having the drop kick. It is really effective against them.
Predict the final top 8 for Battletoads Double Dragon
Arnpoly
Michael
Tables
You
Me
Stryphos
Jimbo
Richard
What is your favorite level of BTDD?
I would say I hate them all equally, but then there is the asteroids like level...
So I hate the asteroids level the most and despise the rest equally. I am not a fan of this game.
What do you love about the US most?
Arnold Schwarzenegger films.
What 2 things do you hate about it the most?
Donald Trump. I don't think I have a second thing I actually hate about the US.
I guess I could say the fact that Nazis are actually being pretty vocal up there, but I am the great child of ex-Nazi and was taught to just punch people who are Nazi on sight by my grand parents, so I would just go on a punching spree over them.
Trump or Obama
Obama was a mediocre to average President, too weak to get the senate and the congress to pass his stuff, but he was a good person with good intentions.
Trump is just an idiot who was put in a position beyond his capability of being functional. How the eff did you guys elected that... thing? I get that after 8 years of Obama a republican president was needed.... but TRUMP?
I could have been Rubio, Bush or hell, even Cruz or Santorum. Any of them would be better than Trump.
Trump or Trudeau
Enough said.
What would you do about North Korea?
I don't think there is a good answer for this one. The situation there is very complex.
Simply deposing the current regime would bring a whole heap of different problems, with citizens trying to flee to China or South Korea for the hopes of a better life.
There is also the chance of radicalisation of the local population, creating terrorism pockets in the region, angering Russia, South Korea and China at the same time.
A full out war will also have devastating effects to SK and would piss off China and Russia to no end. No one wants war ravaging their borders.
Ideally, a slow transition of power, with a solid economy plan involving global investments to modernize NK infrastructure would be the best way to approach this, but that won't happen.
For that to happen, it would require for Kim's future kids, who will likely be sent to study abroad to be indoctrinated by planted teachers who would friend them and teach them to be more accepting to the idea of opening NK to the external world when they reach power, selling and planting on their brains that this would make them 10 times more beloved than their ancestors by the NK people, and will have them hailed as heroes by their subordinates.
As NK people gain more freedom and access to better goods and services, they will start to question the need for their current regime and it would eventually fall. But this would take many decades to happen. Not something the current US President deems acceptable.
I have often thought about this myself. Obviously we see this all the time in the Middle East, due to many ancient hatreds and beliefs. But would NorK be the same? How many people truly are devoted to the cult of Kim, and not just acting out of coercion and self-preservation? How many just want someone to provide access to food?
You would be surprised how easy it can be to radicalize a group of poor people who now has less than they had before.
It wouldn't even need to be a cult for Kim. People in that vulnerable state can be easily manipulated to hate other groups by someone with resources and who want to push them against the other groups for whatever nefarious reasons. That is quite common at Rio's favelas, for one.
And the people of NK will be in an even worse state than they are now during and right after the war. Fertile grounds for powerful groups with interests to grow hatred, radicalization and terrorism.
Piranhas or Anacondas?
I find anacondas to be cuter than piranhas.
Piranha stew is extremely tasty, though.
Brazil's government or Russia's government
We have a government? I swear we haven't had one since 2002. That is news for me!
I would still pick Brazil over Russia's, though. At least our lack of government isn't considering rounding the gays to eradicate them. I would have to put my shotgun to use otherwise.
What character in a beloved Brazilian high school comedy, if such a thing exists, would you be? Failing that, which character in City of God?
The closest we would have to that would be El Chavo del Ocho and El Chapulin Colorado, which are Mexican but have been airing here non-stop for over 30 years.
In that case I would be the Pirata Alma Negra Pirate (Dark Soul Pirate), a man so evil he killed the dead sea. He was played by Ramón Gómez Valdés de Castillo.
But we also had a lot of children TV shows in the 80s, and I know just who I would be. Fofão.
I apologize for the never ending nightmares this will cause to you all. I grew up watching him every morning in the early 1980s.
And people ask me why I am not easily scared.
Sepultura or... Angra? Man I do not know Brazilian music
Neither. Zé Ramalho.
Everyone needs to listen to Zé Ramalho at least once in their life.
Other great options for Brazilian music are Raul Seixas, Nenhum de Nós, Cazuza, Cassia Eller, Tigres de Bengala, Lulu Santos, Barão Vemelho, Caetano Veloso, Engenheiros do Havaí, Secos & Molhados, Ney Matogrosso, who was the lead singer of Secos & Molhados, anything Jovem Guarda, Djavan, Titãs. Lots of people would also recommend Legião Urbana, but I am not a huge fan.
Stallone or Van Damne
Stallone. He was Rocky. This was a no brainier.
Norris or Seagal
Not a fan of either, but if I have to pick one, it would be Seagal.
He has the acting range of a cardboard cut out, but at least he didn't get his butt kicked by Bruce Lee.
First sentence that comes to mind:
bimmy
A great fellow who has this strange quarrel with Abobo. He totally should consider writing novels and trying to get published.
guillavoie
Another friendly, awesome fellow who has the advantage of being Canadian and thus has a lower cooties count.
doug
Modesty made flesh!
rdrunner
I would say he is a witch, so good he is on NES games, but we never weighed him against a duck to see if he is made of wood.
skinny
A shmup master who sadly couldn't put all his effort on the contest this year due to having to deal with that cute wee person. He is also a bit... quirky.
Brock
You are needing some sleep, man! Hopefully you will be able to put more effort on the contests next year when your kids are a wee bit older.
Not envying you when they hit puberty.
You also have a perchant to tabulate and organize stuff.
guts
One of my good friends here. We talk fairly often on FB. I miss his shenanigans at the contest.
arnpoly
A good man. I wish all the best to him and his family.
table
A most skilled person. Most mysterious too!
Miss Clawful
Easily the best lass who ever competed on the contests. I miss having her around.
Red
Another man we should weigh against a duck to see if he floats and thus is made of wood! Such skill must be witchcraft!
Michael
A good, persistent man who is way due a win on the contests. He will most likely be the 2017 champion.
Jimbo
He is a funny guy. I like him. That's why I'm going to kill him last.
He also needs to keep in mind that REVENGE is sweet, and is also a dish better served cold. Therefore REVENGE is ice cream.
James
Never interacted with him much, but he is part of the Colorado crew, so I like him.
Richard
The Champ! And also better take good care of Trixy, lest accidents happen.
Gloves
The old new guy. He is great at shooters!
Santa
I hope everything is well with him. He deserves the best.
Mega Tank
Metal Slug comes to mind.
barrelsAndRivets
He is either laddersandcakes evil twin, or it is the other way around.
Stryphos
A decent fellow who is really good at Contra!
Seppatoni
Master Higgins!
Redneck RN
A quite interesting lady who I may get to know better in a few different ways early 2018.
And who should grace us with her presence more often!
Who would you like to see get interviewed?
Michael for sure, Red for we need to find whether he is a witch or not, or maybe he is someone who there are those who call him... Tim? Guil and Bimmy need interviews on this format stat. Santa too for sure. Guts is definitely on my list. And you too need to be interviewed. But who would be the interviewer?
Maybe I could get Jô Soares to do that.
FMK
For the next set of FMK, I will pretend that I would actually marry someone.
Terminator Arnie, Junior Arnie, Kindergarten Cop Arnie
Fuck Terminator Arnie. It is a machine, so maybe it vibrates as good as a hitachi. Marry Kindergarten Cop Arnie and kill the abomination that is Junior Arnie.
Rhinestone Stallone, Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot Stallone, Tango & Cash Stallone
Fuck Stop or My Mom will shoot Stallone, Marry Tango & Cash Stallone, kill Rhinestone Stallone with fire.
Any of the Battletoads, Kickle, Bucky O'Hare
Fuck any of the Battletoads. With tongues that long, they surely would be capable of some interesting things. Marry Bucky O'Hare as there are many quick ways to become a widow and nuke Kickle from orbit. It is the only way to be sure.
Fabio today, Fabio immediately after having his face pulverized by a bird, Jimbo wearing a Fabio mask
Fuck Fabio immediately after having his face pulverized by a bird, Marry Fabio today and DEATH for Jimbo wearing a Fabio mask, through the means of Snu Snu.
Years later, his wee person would find ancient masters of hand to hand combat to train under in order to seek revenge in a gory, action packed epic directed by Quentin Tarantino, Kill Bea!
Trump, Kim Jong Un, Queen Elizabeth II
Fuck Trump. I have honestly fucked worse before. Marry Queen Elizabeth II (she is sooo dreamy!) and kill Kin Jong Un in hand to hand combat.
Okay, wardrobe accidents... discuss
GASP!
How dare you, a married man, ask me, a lady of virtue, practically a saint to discuss about wardrobe accidents!
SCANDALOUS!
(a few hours later)
...
...
Sober me is such a stuck up bitch.
Well, it is scientifically proven that gaming skills improve the least amount of clothing you are wearing, which is why I don't wear underwear by default.
And as rum goes down, so do pieces of clothing, because clothing is just too constricting. I feel so limited, so strangled by it!
So wardrobe accidents happen.
And when people message me when I am in this inebriated state, they might end up seeing more than they expected, because even though I have accepted I am uglier than Gojira, I am also very comfortable with my skin.
Poor Guil almost suffered from such fate during the Double Dragon 2 week. I was totally drunk, trying to figure out how to get my NES to stop hanging so I could post a shitty 11K score and he messaged me.
I didn't even look who sent that message. I just went to my nudes stash, picked some and started to reply... but it dawned to me to check who the heck had messaged me and I saw it was him, and somehow decided to spare him from such terrible fate.
Lucky guy, unlike several others around here who now have to live having seen things that cannot be unseen.
Anyway... since you asked and I am tipsy... I hope you are prepared to deal with this...
*redacted*
This' a good wardrobe accident picture. My butt looks quite perfect on it, and the fishnets add some sexiness to my toned legs. I like this one.
*redacted sad tracts of land picture*
Unlike this one. I hate my tracts of land. They are so tiny, so sad and so unappealing I had men asking me if women shouldn't have boobs while I was disrobing for... vigorous cuddling.
And now you will have to live having seen the saddest tracts of land ever.
Wardrobe accidents also happen a lot when I am cosplaying, for some reason.
*redacted Luigi picture*
... I am sorry for this one. I hope it doesn't give you nightmares
*redacted Wand of Gamelon Zelda picture*
I am also sorry for this one.
*redacted She-ra and Carmen Sandiego pictures*
...
...
I am not sorry about these two. I look damn good, wardrobe accidents and fairly weird looking nether privates notwithstanding.
My butt looks really good on that Sandiego picture, even. I take pride on my butt. It took lots of biking, running, walking, squats and deadlifts to get it that shapely!
And it seems I tend to have them wardrobe accidents even more often when I am in cosplay. Most inquiring. I need to study this phenomena. And figure out why I don't have a wardrobe accident Guile cosplay picture yet.
... Oh... if your wife gives you trouble for those, tell her you needed empirical data to calculate just how much of a fair lady she is compared to ladies across the world.
Works every time.
If you want to bleach your eyes and brain now, I will understand.
But you brought it to yourself, asking about wardrobe accidents, knowing I would end up drunk at some point and just following with it.
Umm....
(
later)
...
Bloody drunk me and her showy ways. I am sorry you had to see that. I removed the images. Ugh.
That single shot of rum I have every night is dangerous business. I am entirely too weak to alcohol.
Hope you didn't have too many nightmares... "
Moving on
Hardest NES game?
From the licensed US NTSC set, Ikari Warriors, no doubt.
I could say Megaman 2 because I cannot for the life of me 1CC it, but people insist it is easy, so what do I know?
If we count unlicensed, then it is Micro Mike.
Hardest SNES game?
Out of all the ones I played, Super Star Wars was the one that gave me the most trouble to beat.
What games can you not beat?
Any Final Fantasy games or pretty much any JRPGs.
They are sleeping inducing and I am usually asleep 45 minutes in.
Best Braziilian dish?
I am very partial to barreado, a slow cooked beef stew made of beef, bacon, tomatoes, onion, cumin and other spices, placed in successive layers in a large clay urn, covered and then sealed with a paste of ash and manioc flour, and then slowly cooked in a wood-fired oven for 12 to 18 hours.
It is a traditional dish of the Paraná state, where I live.
For a sweet one, you can't go wrong with cocada.
Oh, and a gaucho style barbecue with a ground fire is just plain amazing.
Best American dish?
I didn't get the chance to try any of your traditional dishes while in Indianapolis.
We mostly had fastfood and it was terrible. Why everything has to have so much sugar over there?
Ok, if someone was hosting you guys, they are morons. If you guys were on your own and had no time, then that is a shame. Never been to Indianopolis, but like any American city, the melting pot usually produces a pretty wide variety of choices
We were on our own, and it being GenCon, everyone was more focused on meeting other people, playing RPGs and tabletop games, browsing the con than to worry about a good gastronomic experience. I even tried to get the girls to go to Fogo de Chão with me, but they refused, which is a damn shame.
They missed the opportunity to experience the joys of a "rodízio".
Next time I will have better luck.
Best Brazilian beer?
Our beers industry is pretty terrible and the micro brew industry is pretty much inexistent.
But the least terrible industrial ones are Original, Bavaria and Bohemia.
And even those are pretty poor.
Best American beer?
I didn't have the chance to try one while in the US either...
My friends decided that giving me and alcoholic drinks shouldn't be mixed after they gave me a smirnoff ice on the first night and I almost started walking around the hotel topless.
And there were men walking about topless with more tracts of land than me. That got me quite unnerved!
Apparently, you guys up there have some serious problems with female nudity. It is so weird.
Blame the Puritans
We have some of that too, for some reason.
Which my mind fails to comprehend... I have no tracts of land! Why can't I just go topless like a lot of men do when exercising and running and stuff?
Anyway, after that they kept me clear from alcoholic drinks. But I will be in Vegas this year, so I can try some.
Do you have any suggestions?
Hard to say. If you're on the strip you're probably gonna get overpriced domestics or pseudo-micros. If you find a dedicated taproom-style place, I'd recommend anything from Montana because dammit our beer is good. Also, Rogue is pretty widespread and good. People like Stone as well. Honestly you can't go wrong, just be ready for 80% of the beers to be IPAs or Pale Ales because that is the obsession anymore
Well, if anything they can't be worse than ours. I will keep my eyes open for beers from Montana when I am there then.
Real football or futbal?
Football, which your uneducated Yankees call soccer, is not a matter of life or death.
It is much more important than that!
So yeah, real football, played with feet over Rugby with padding any time.
Besides, the rules of real football make sense, unlike those of Rugby with padding.
Community questions
Why Brazil? (this is from skinny in the public thread lol)
I... kind of was... born here?
What number does she usually set her toaster to when making toast?
I do not possess a toaster nor I eat toast.
Do you prefer the word buffalo or bison? Which one do you use when talking about nature's flap jack?
I find the word buffalo better. And what the heck are flap jacks?
I was wondering does she call her pancakes flap jacks? Or small round circles of love?
I do not eat pancakes.
What will Jimbo's revenge end up being
... and the bezan shall be huge and black, and the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures, and the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there will be a great rubbing of parts. Yeeah...
... for the demon shall bear a nine-bladed sword. NINE-bladed! Not two or five or seven, but NINE, which he will wield on all wretched sinners, sinners just like you, sir, there, and the horns shall be on the head, with which he will...
...there shall, in that time, be *rumors* of things going astray, errrm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi - with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril that...
The truth is... it is a secret to everybody. But it could involve snu snu. And he will suffer!
Jack, Jim, or José
I will go with Jim.
Does she prefer coffee mugs with or without handles? and why
With handles, of course.
Coffee is to be drank very hot, and it is unappealing to hold an extremely warm cup.
Richardheads bicycle shorts. For aerodynamics or just fashion? Please discuss. Also any short pants triva is welcomed.
As someone who also bikes, but not as often, aerodynamics.
They also make your butt look nice.
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego
I pledge the 5th.
I have heard rumors that she possess a phychic ability. I was wondering if she could possibly look into the future to see when the second batch of avs's will arrive?
I am a cybernetic organism, living tissue over metal endoskeleton. And most records of this time were lost during the great war between human and machines, so my database do not possess this information.
Balloon animals just weird or artsy fartsy?
Let's just go with weird.
What is a better band name. Men with tiny hats, or hats with tiny men?
Neither possess enough appeal or marketability. Considering picking a more interesting name that can be more easily remembered and with a greater market appeal.
Captain, admiral, or sailor
Sailor, for I curse like one and I find Popeye the Sailor to be an interesting character.
If she had the oppertunity to come up with a new name for a bicycle starting with the letter Q what would it be?
Why are you giving a name to an unanimated object?
Would she rather be kissed by a pretty man or an ugly woman
Women are better kissers, overall. They have softer skin that is more pleasant to the touch.
Besides, being an ugly woman myself, I would prefer to kiss someone who isn't much prettier than me.
Is it true that you and fellow nintendo age alumni Superjimtendo are a thing? Please give us the nitty gritty about NA's hottest romance!
Wait... what?
I have heard of no such thing! And I don't do this whole romance and dating thing. Machines like me have no feelings.
Last, but not least important reason for this to not be a real thing, we live thousands of miles apart. And I am sure he has good taste in women, whence he wouldn't consider dating someone like me.
Still, he may have seen more than he should already, and if the distance factor was nullified, I would only be 89.4% opposed to this possibility.
I was wondering if she could possibly give me 5 Interesting Facts About Asphalt Shingle Roofing Systems? I am going to be adding a new roof to my house before winter and I would like to know what she suggests.
... I suggest you seek the input of an actual roofing professionals.
Origins of the red hat and has it been worn since kickle's violation
I ordered that floppy red hat to complete my Carmen Sandiego cosplay. And yes, it has been worn since... that thing happened.
Was fast and furious five an accurate representation of Brazilian life
I have never watched Fast and Furious films, so I am not the most qualified person to answer this question.
Vin diesel or the rock
The Rock is more affable.
Left handed scissors. Has she ever used them right handed and how did that make her feel?
Being left handed, I have only used left handed scissors with my left hand.
Short socks. Should we rename them to ankle biters?
They're socks. Let us just keep calling them that.
If you can get into the source code of a game so easily can you also easily adjust the score values to really earn max points in every fucking game of all times.
No. Disassembling the code and reading it is one thing.
Modifying it and recompiling with the proper resources and rebuilding a rom file is a complete different beast.
You would have to reconsider jump addresses, resource addresses, the amount of cycles each operator takes, how the program calculates the points awarded and a whole heap of different things, debugging and other time consuming tasks. All that while trying to not break the game in the process. And the score isn't always a matter of a simply lookout table holding the value for each enemies/situation.
Or you could go and modify it at rom level, rewriting the opcodes in byte form. Good luck with that... Would sure be a lot of "fun".
The effort wouldn't be worth it. And it is nowhere as fun as just reading the disassembly and understanding how the RNG works, or how the AI works and then put that knowledge into practice at the real game.
I already hate having to rewrite my own code with modern languages and tools. I can't even fathom the idea of rewriting undocumented 6502 ASM that was written by other people.
Fill in the blank, My friend Felipe likes to ________________________
Whatever the heck pleases him? I do not think it is my place to question what other people do unless they are set on causing harm.
Straws; great for drinks or choking hazard?
They are pretty good for drinks, and I fail to see how they would be a choking hazard. They a hollow, which allows air to pass through them.
Who would win in a fight between a person with no arms and a person with no legs? and would daylight savings have any effect on the outcome?
It would end up in a draw, DST non withstanding.
Can you think of 10 other uses for a shoe horn?
I can't even think of a reason for it to exist...
Did you kiss a girl and like it?
Verily. My very first kiss was with another girl and I liked it.
do you like Katy Perry?
Who is this person?
have you ever used duct tape to tape meat tenderizers to your hands?
I can't say I have. But that is an interesting idea to try...
is one boob bigger than the other ?
Considering that about 88% of women have asymmetric breasts, yes, that is usually the case. Not in my case, though, as I am flatter than an ironing board when it comes to tracts of land.
Whence they are equaly sized, as 0 is always equals 0.
do you have any real bees ?
Sadly, I do not. I live in an apartment, which is a less than ideal place to keep a bee-hive.
I am planning to get one when I move back to my home town as I will buy a house there and will have a nice garden to set one up.
Bees are so cute and adorable! I love them!
why are my neighbors so annoying ?
That is a very good question. I do not have an answer for your plea, but I suggest that if you sit with them for a beer and discuss in a polite way the things they do that annoy you, and the things that you do that annoy them, you all could find a common ground and find solutions to make living next to each other more pleasant.
what level are you in Pokémon go?
I have a Microsoft Lumia 640XL. Thus no Pokémon Go for me.
will I post a score this week?
I most certainly hope this is the case. The more scores the merrier.
Which contest member are you most likely to punch in the face?
Unless any of them were to physically threaten me, or decided to be my boxing spar, I have no desire in punching any of the contest members.
I only retort to violence, brutal, massive, painful violence when I am being threatened, when I have to defend other people from harm or at the boxing ring.
FMK: ninjistar, ninjistar, ninjistar
The provided data is not entropic enough and does not allow for a proper response to this question.
Please submit new data with more entropy.
FMK: Ocotopus Kickle, Metal Man Kickle, Hot lesbian Kickle
Fuck Metal Man Kickle, Marry Hot Lesbian Kickle, kill Octopus Kickle
FMK: Courtney Love, Kim Kardashian, Anastasia Prikhodko
Hmm... I guess it would be fuck Anastasia Prikhodko, marry Courtney Love, kill Kim Kardashian.
If someone were to say JTNDJTczJTQzJTcyJTQ5JTcwJTU0JTNFJTYxJTZDJTY1JTcyJTc0JTI4JTI3JTQyJTY1JTYxJTIwJTZDJTZGJTc2JTY1JTczJTIwJTRCJTY5JTYzJTZCJTZDJTY1JTIwJTY2JTZGJTcyJTY1JTc2JTY1JTcyJTI3JTI5JTNDJTJGJTczJTQzJTcyJTQ5JTcwJTU0JTNFCg== to you, what would your response be?
42.
Alternatively, Plunct, Plact, Zum!
bong or joint ?
I do not partake on this kind of of stuff, but I guess... both names acceptable?
facial hair or clean shaven?
I am more partial to facial hair. Moustaches are entirely too sexy and a well groomed beard, whether long or short is also quite nice.
Which Inquisiton era torture device will you use on Jimbo when you two finally meet?
A: Judas Cradle
B: Spanish Donkey
C: Knee splitter
THE RACK!
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
Murray or Morrissey?
Murray for sure. He is a powerful demonic force! He is the harbinger of Guybrush's doom! And the forces of darkness will applaud him as he STRIDES through the gates of hell carrying Threepwood's head on a pike!
Where the hell is Crispin Glover?!
I do not know who this person is, let alone have any idea of his whereabouts!
large or small hands?
Proportionate ones. Small if the other person is short, large if the other person is tall.
now that you know i am the human form of lentil soup, what do you think will happen to brocolli and cheese?
They will remain being tasty and good foods? Healthy too in broccoli case.
At least I hope this will be the case.
i realize i am terrible at video games, thank you?
I am sorry, but the "Terrible at video games" club has a steep requirement to accept new members.
Unless you are unable to 1CC Megaman 2, you don't get to claim you are terrible at video games.
if you win the tournament what soup will you become and when is the last time you ate honey nut cherios?
The only possibility for me to become soup is if I end up somehow kidnapped by a tribe of cannibalistic natives, so I would say that is a pretty slim chance.
But to entertain you with an answer, considering I am mostly lean meat, slow cooking me wouldn't be productive, so making a stew out of me wouldn't be the best idea. I guess they would make a lean beef and legumes soup out of me.
And I have never eaten this honey nut cheerios thing.
if gloves had a sealed TI-83 would he get it graded?
That sounds like a poor usage for a TI-83 calculator. Why leave it sealed to begin with?
have you ever typed 58008 then fliped the calculator upsidedown?
I... cannot say I have, but I have seen quite a few references about such thing out there.
It is not a thing down here, mostly because the sad bags of fat and glands that serve to nurture babies are named something else here.
Also, *shakes fist in green envy* Why some have so much tracts of land and I have nothing. This isn't fair!
The only solution is to develop a doomsday machine to give every other woman in the world AA cups.
when knee high in the brazilian ocean can seaweed be a factor?
That will depend on which beach you are at. With 7,491 KM worth of coastline, we have a lot of different beaches here, and they are spread from between the Equator line and the Tropic of Capricorn and below the Tropic of Capricorn, which mean we have several different climates in the range of our coastline, some which might be more suitable for seaweed development.
rum is crap. drink gin or vodka.
I brew my own rum, so I will stick with it, thank you.
remember your pet piranha "phillip" escaped into the field of dreams only to be heard from on the hottest summers and this summer grows hot? and was his blood really on the leebs?
Yes, I do indeed. But it is winter right now, so there is nothing to worry about it.
And I believe that it was his blood, indeed.
one of these is false as far as i know. i am sweetish, i stretch everyday, i can do that trick where you jump over your own leg, i enjoy the smell of my own farts, i had long hair, i have only told the truth.
Logic dictates that the statements "I have only told the truth" must be the false one.
Besides, you have not stated that you appreciate sizeable gluteus maximums and thus you are clearly capable of spreading falsehood.
two real questions. have you been to the slums in the "city of god"?
if you had to choose cheeze wiz on your breakfast for 3 days, would ypu just eat the cheeze wizz.
One does not simply visit the slums in Rio. Shit is fucked up and dangerous there, sire! The drug lords tend to have unknown people who entered their domains gunned down by machine gun fire.
I have only been to Rio once and I have no plans to return there.
As for your second question, that cheese spread looks entirely too unhealthy. I would skip it.
(end)
Take a wild guess on what the tournament games will be
Hmm. Maybe they will be mean this year and drop us:
Ikari Warriors
Popeye
Ninja Gaiden 3 as the final game.
If the final game was Ninja Gaiden, and you and mbd were in the remaining tier 1 competitors, who would win? One life, low score. Be honest.
If I put my normal effort, I would most likely win.
But the real question is... would I put my normal effort if paired against an underdog at the grand final or would I underperform just enough to give them the advantage and let them win, because that would make for a better story for the contest and the belt would go for someone who would appreciate it more rather than someone who is in this just for the fun and not for the glory?
Is there glory in being handed a championship you didn't earn though?
Well, they made it to the grand finals. I would say that they earned that championship.
There have been many cases where the favorite underperformed for whatever reason and lost.
But I guess it is more the reason for me to not partake on the championship.
Yeah, generally not because they decided to be nice and lose on purpose
Well, I am a quirky person.
And that is why I usually did what Red do and just play the random game here and there.
Had I got to tier 1 last year, I probably would underperform on Adventure Island on purpose as well.
I am pretty bad when it comes to this competing thing.
But of course, I wouldn't make it blatant that I was underperforming on purpose and post a mediocre score. I would push my opponent to do their best.
In the Ninja Gaiden example, I would no death it with a reasonable score because I know that Michael would be able to beat it and win by putting effort on it.
It would make their victory more satisfying, because they put effort on achieving it.
If the final game was Gradius, and you and Gloves were in the remaining tier 1 competitors, who would win? One life, high score. Be honest.
The old new Guy for sure.
This year I have only placed ahead of him on a shooter at TGL, and only because it was a very unusual one with an even more unusual set of rules for a shooter.
Tell me what you know about:
Ally Sheedy
Apparently, this person is an actress who has been in several films I have never watched.
The McRib
Grant Imahara of Mythbusters fame was hired by McDonalds to make a video about those to show that it is made of real beef or something like that.
Rodney King
First time I am hearing of this person.
Parachute pants
They never seem to be a trend down here in Brazil, unlike bell-bottoms which were all the rage in the 70s and 80s.
I miss them bell-bottoms.
OJ Simpson
Ex-padded Rugby player. He was extremely funny at the Naked Gun films and there was that whole Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman murders, which had him sent to jail.
I believe he was paroled recently and will be leaving the jail in October.
Pogs
I believe those were introduced here in Brazil as Tazos by Pepsico back in the late 90s.
Beanie Babies
I do not possess enough information about those to tell you anything about those things. Early studies seem to show they are some sort of aberration.
Dan Quayle
I do not know him. Quick online search showed me that he was the vice president of Bush Sr.
Bush Sr. was a class act.
Bob Dole
I do not possess enough information about this person. Is it someone that needs to be terminated?
Tonya Harding
She was behind the attack to another ice skater in the 90s and was banned from ice skating for life after that, from what I remember.
Christian Slater
He was in... The Name of the Rose film?
Hungry Hungry Hippos
I can't remember how this one was named here, but we had it around these parts back in the 80s. Might have been a bootleg copy, though.
Crossfire (Cross Fire!)
I do not possess enough information about this subject.
Capri Suns
It is some sort of juice brand, but it is not available in Brazil.
Steve Urkel
I do not possess enough information about the person at hand.
A quick search shows that he was a big character in a show that was never aired in Brazil.
Had he been in (Todo Mundo Odeia o Chris (Everybody Hates Chris) then he would be widely known in Brazil.
John Stamos
I believe he was on the ER TV series, so I know he is an actor. Nothing much other than that.
My Little Pony
I LOVE My Little Pony. They were a big part of my childhood, and also one of the reasons I hate Swift Wind so much in She-Ra.
Bloody talking winged horses belong on My Little Pony, not on She-Ra. Always made me lose arguments about who was cooler, He-Man or She-Ra.
But I digress. I loved watching the classic series back in the 80s along with Care Bears.
The recent reboot is a quality show, but the fandom got weird... QUICK.
Cobra Commander
The ultimate bad guy from GI Joe!
That was another cartoon I loved watching as a wee lass, so much Mum and dad just gave up on giving me Barbie dolls and started giving me GI Joe action figures, just like they did with my brothers.
They are so much cooler than Barbie.
And I liked the Baroness and Destro much more than the Cobra Commander. Too bad I am blond and flat or I would consider cosplaying as the Baroness. She also helped me pick interest in girls...
The recent live action films sucked a lot, though. I want the blood of whomever was responsible for those travesties.
Lunchables
What the heck are lunchables? Never heard of them. No idea what they might possibly be.
Kriss Kross
I have never heard of this person.
Corey Feldman
I believe he was in films like Stand By Me, Goonies and Gremlins.
Corey Haim
I do not possess enough information about this person. He seems to be an actor as well.
Nirvana
I have never been very much into their music, but they were and still are quite successful, even after Kurt's death.
Pearl Jam
Another "alternative" rock band that is quite successful and know, and whose music I could never really get into.
They have a big fan base here in Brazil.
Alice In Chains
I surely feel like you quite like alternative rock.
Another well known band whose music I don't listen to very much.
Faith No More
Now this is one alternative rock band that I had never heard of till now.
Darkwing Duck
The terror that flaps in the night!
The TV series was quite successful down here in Brazil during 1992 and 1993.
Cannon (Group) Films
They were responsible for The Masters of the Universe live action film, which is one of my guilty pleasures, along with a lot of B ninja films in the 80s and 90s.
Good stuff!
Seinfeld
I don't know much about this TV series. It never aired here in Brazil.
I think Brazil Netflix has it on it's catalogue. Is it any good?
South Park
A cartoon who aims an adult public. It makes use of crass humour and plenty of violence from the little I have seen of it.
I much prefer The Simpsons over it.
Die Hard
Alan Rickman was stellar as Hans Gruber on the first film of the series.
The first film is also a pretty great Christmas film. And it definitely lost steam around the third film.
Beverly Hills
It is a city in California, isn't it?
New York
The state or the city?
A lot of films and TV series seem to like to use it as a setting.
And Marvel also loves it, with a lot of super heroes operating in the city.
Never been to it, and I don't actually plan to ever be there.
California
Silicon Valley, the gold rush, a common setting and destination on wild west films.
And a lot of actors seem to like to take residence there.
Texas
It seems a very... quaint place.
Often I see pictures of people open carrying assault rifles around cities there, which I find quite odd.
But there are places I would like to visit, such as Austin.
Also, Westerns seem to like this place a lot, with the Texas Ranger being a central figure in most of them.
Bonelli comics specially loves Texas, with their main character, Tex Willer, being a Texas Ranger, even though he is from Arizona and is the leader of the Navajos.
I do love me some Westerns, specially Spaghetti Westerns.
Florida
I do not know much about Florida other than it seems to have a more tropical weather, tornados and the mythical being, Florida man who appears often in newspapers.
Nevada
Uhh... Las Vegas? And legal prostitution?
Montana
Well... you see... I do not know much of this place other than it seems to have good beer, based on your statements. And that you live there.
Alabama
It has a border with Florida?
North Dakota
It borders Saskatchewan!
And Montana, apparently.
And was named after the Dakota native tribes, I think.
Wyoming
I have a friend who lives there!
Apparently, cattle and dairy products are a big part of it's economy.
The Wind River Indian Reservation is also located there and is shared by the Shoshone and Arapaho tribes.
Bags of milk
Those sadly have become a rare sight around here during the 90s, but you can still find them.
I like them better than milk in cartoons.
McPoutine
A McDonalds take on a traditional Canadian dish, which looks entirely too greasy for my tastes.
Disney World
Apparently, a magical place with employees in Fur suits everywhere.
Double Quarter Pounder
The what?
Crib
A special kind of bed where wee human beings are placed to "sleep".
And where they make sure their parents don't actually get any sleep.
Hizzouse
Hizzizzouse
Hizzle
Hizzle-for-shizzle
Heezy
Flippity-floppity-floo
Now you are just making words up!
Those surely can't be English words.
Froot Loops
Suprisingly, Kelloggs actually brought that one to Brazil.
But I never had them. I am not a fan of that kind of cereals.
Cookie Crunch
Never heard of it, and it never made it here either.
Rice Krispie Treats
I have heard of those, but never had them. Looks too full of sugar to my tastes anyway.
Ted Turner
Who?
Thanksgiving
Canada has theirs before yours!
And it is a celebration about pilgrims killing off all the natives or something like that?
Janet Jackson
I kind of like her music.
She also uses a lot of sexuality in her work, and I am more than fine with that.
There was also that thing that took overblown proportions with Timberlake. I mean... why people got so damn worked out over an effing nipple slip?
Rush Limbaugh
He had/has a conservative radio show?
I don't know much about him, but I have seen his name thrown around more than once by friends of mine.
Joe Montana
No idea who that person is. Is he marked for termination?
Michael Jordan
One of the most successful NBA players ever. The Bulls retired his 23 number after he himself retired.
I still prefer Larry Bird and Magic Johnson, though.
Barry Bonds
I do not possess enough information about this person.
Wayne Gretzsky
I remember him being an Ice Hockey player.
His name might have been on more than one hockey video game during the 16 bit and 32 bit era.
Miles
Why the eff have you not moved to a more sensible unit of measurement. Imperial makes no effing sense.
Gallons
Another unit of measurement that makes no sense!
Litres do, this does not!
El Dorado
A pretty decent Western film.
Also a place the Spanish seemed to believe existed and killed a lot of South America natives while trying to find it.
The 2016 Olympics
Oh man... where do I start...
Maybe with the fact that all those trees seeds from the "Seeds of Hope" where all the athletes carried seeds at the Opening weren't planted yet (
https://weather.com/science/environment/news/rio-olympics-tr... ) and the few which were are dying from a lack of care.
Or maybe the fact that the venues are now decaying (
http://www.businessinsider.com/rio-olympics-hosting-year-lat... ) and the promises for the Olympic "legacy" are empty.
Or that hosting it left Rio in an even more bigger mess than it was, with full open civil war going on (
https://www.forbes.com/sites/kenrapoza/2017/08/09/rio-de-jan... ). Or the $11.5 billion cost that just didn't repay itself?
Hosting the Olympics was a huge mistake that is still costing us dearly.
But at least the city officials paid off the slum drug lords to keep crime at bay during the games, so violence was not much of an issue and didn't hurt the city image more than it already was.
And let us not talk about Guanabara bay.
Pele
I reckon that Garrincha was much better than he was, but he was a brilliant marketer and still makes a ton of image out of his image.
He was a damn good football player, though, one of the best of all time. He was better than Maradona, that is for sure.
Sadly, his children didn't follow his footsteps for the most part.
Edinho, his most famous children is in prison due to drug charges (
http://punchng.com/peles-son-loses-appeal-against-drug-charg... ).
The Emerald Forest
All I know about this one is that it was set, and filmed I believe, in the Amazon rain forest and it was "based on a true story".
Jungle 2 Jungle
A "comedy" film that somehow forgot that comedies are supposed to be funny.
Anaconda
It had everything to be a film so bad it is good.
But they failed at that too.
Watching this was so cringe worthy.
Chile or Argentina?
Sorry to my hermanos from Argentina, but I prefer Chile.
Not that Argentina is bad, I kinda liked it there when I visited.
Venezuela or Columbia?
Colombia.
Venezuela situation is... hairy and will spill into Brazil when civil war inevitably starts there.
Mexico or Cuba?
Mexico. Never liked much how the Castro brothers led Cuba.
Dominican Republic or Haiti?
On the account that many Haitians immigrated to Curitiba after the huge earthquake that hit their country in 2010, I have to say I prefer Haiti.
They are good people and have brought and interesting touch to my city's culture and diversity.
F(uck up)M(urder)K(ill)
Jimbo, James, Rich
Ah, finally a slight tougher to answer FMK. I guess I could set up a three way with James, Marry Jimbo and sentence Rich to termination through snu snu?
Yeah, I guess this works.
What other crazy Bea story can you tell us?
Well, today, August 23rd, marks 4 years of being free of skin cancer for me.
With that comes a sort of crazy story.
I pretty much disappeared from NA in 2012 to focus on my company and I was dead set on doing a professional boxing match before my 33rd birthday, so I was practising it hard, hitting the boxing gym almost every day.
Around November that year I was ready and we tried to find an opponent within my weight range, but we couldn't find any, so we went to the Paraná state federation to see if we could arrange a mixed gender match.
While we were trying to convince them to allow this to happen, one mole on my tummy started to act up and grow fast. I went to my dermatologist to have it checked and she confirmed that it was likely malignant.
I had the naevus excised and sent to biopsy to confirm at what stage it was. Those were the most excruciating days of my life so far. It took a month to have the result because I had it removed near xmas.
It was stage 1, so more tissue was excised. After that healed I returned to boxing, but the cancer came back in March, so goodbye boxing classes, hello radio and very light chemo.
At least I only lost 15% of my hair during that time. It took a long while to get it to grow to 1.1 metres long.
Now I am waiting for the last of these medical woes to end to resume boxing as hard as I was doing before, as entering the ring for an official, ranked professional bout is on my bucket list of things to do before turning 40.
There are other crazy stories that always ended up in fights that I can elaborate into, but they aren't very enticing, or just how wild I went between 2010 and 2011 after I broke free from that abusive relationship I was at. I would rather not speak numbers about this one, as it would definitely hurt my reputation as pure, chaste and innocent around this parts.
I also love to pull crazy shenanigans to give gifts to friends, much akin to what I just did to Skinny and his Baby Kai.
Finally, I donate to a local orphanage and to a children's hospital here and at least once per year I buy a store Spiderman suit since he is quite well known by people of all ages here and go visit the children in costume there.
Both boys and girls love Spiderman so much, and since I am so flat, it is quite easy to pass as a man for them.
But I am hoping that with the Wonder Woman film out there, I will be able to start visiting them in a Wonder Woman costume and have the character being immediately recognized and beloved by the children.
For this Xmas, I am trying to put together a stormtrooper costume to go take the orphanage kids to go watch Star Wars on the theathre.
Finally, a slightly crazy story from when I was a wee lass.
200 metres from where my parents live in Castro, Paraná, we have this park:
It extremely beautiful and I loved to play out there.
It has some... quirky things, though, like a frog statue:
And... Clowndor, the devourer:
I absolutely loved to play on that slide when I was a wee lass, and to sleep on it's shadows, since Brazil was so much safer back then.
That frog statue and clown slide are well over 70 years old.
The park is just so beautiful. Can't wait to move back there.
What do you do for a living?
I am a senior software developer and board director at my own company. I own 33% of the controlling shares of the company
I do backend development, dwell with crazy stuff like data encapsulation on a DVB stream to deploy files remotely to devices, deal with decapsulating that data on the client devices, write new Linux drivers to USB DVB-S2 devices when their bloody developers release a brand new hardware revision and don't put out a new Linux driver, develop live streaming solutions through internet and satellite, maintain technology I wrote to deliver content to several types of devices through internet or satellite and generally curse like a sailor and punch walls out of frustration and anger here. Our tech is used and sold by third parties, which in turn sells it to companies like Walmart, Carrefour and others to do their in-store radio or corporate TV.
After 17 years of that and 14 years in this company, I have grown too old for this shit and I need out.
I haven't had real vacations since 2006.
When you open your distillery, who is gonna design your logo?
I haven't decided yet, nor I have considered a theme for it, but I have a few good friends who are graphic designers and I will offer them the bid to design it for a sizeable sum of money.
How many languages do you speak?
I am only proficient in Portuguese and English.
I have novice skill levels in German, Japanese and Spanish.
Not quite enough languages, I say.
I need to consider resuming my studies in German.
How's that Backloggery account going? Seriously, I'd love to see it
I am waiting for some long holidays here so I can tabulate the data and input it there.
I hope to have it up and running before the end of the year.
Who is your absolute favorite all-time NA user?
I don't know what you US people have against the u. It drives me crazy to see favourite spelled as favorite!
And this one is a really tough question. Dangevin and I got along pretty well back in the day, same with the_wizard_666.
These days Guts and I get along pretty well. Michael is a pretty cool guy, same with Toxie and Redneck, I miss Miss Clawful a lot, Skinny's shenanigans are amusing, Arn is always fun to have around, Guil and Bimmy are pretty high up there as well, and you with all the trouble you went through to organize the tournament threads.
So I don't think I have one absolute all-time favourite NA user.
Who is your NA mortal enemy?
This one is much easier to answer!
Jimbo, due to the Kickle abomination.
Michigan musician musicians, blood relative relatives of mine
Guessed so far: George Winston, Kid Rock, Alice Cooper, Rare Earth, Celine Dion, The White Stripes, The Moonlight, Hidden Agenda, Ashford & Simpson
#1 - Are they an actively performing musician whose music can be heard on current X (being a variable for any genre of music) radio station(s)?
I have to amend this answer. It seems in some ways they might be, and in some ways they aren't...
#2 - Hmm, is the musician still alive?
Answer - Yes, mostly
#3 - Is it George Winston?
Answer - No
#4 - Kid Rock?
Answer - No
#5 - Alice Cooper?
Answer - No
#6 - Stevie Wonder?
Answer - No
#7 Hair color?
Black and/or grey
#8 Facial hair or no?
Both
#9 Hawt or not?
So much hawt
#10 what kind of music?
R&B
#11 what instrument?
Various
#12 male or female
Both
Did I say musician? I meant musicians
#13 Is it member/members from Rare Earth?
No
#14 Is the person/persons white?
Sortof
#15 Is it Celine Dion?
No
#16 I'll just go ahead and see if I can nail it. Based on the clues that you already answered, I'm going to guess The White Stripes since that's the only guess I can think of that seems to fit based on what's already up there.
No
#17 Well I guess I get two more guesses. The Moonlight?
No
#18 Hidden Agenda?
No
#19 Are there three members in the band?
Exactly 3? No
Then how about four?
#20 Exactly 4? No
Here's a hint before your final guess; There is a very, very loose Breakfast Club connection here
I'm not sure any of those hints help me.
I did some Googling to venture a guess ... I hope that's not cheating.
#21 Are they Ashford & Simpson?
No
#22 Are they internationally known or are they more of a local band?
Internationally known I think? Most Americans probably have no idea what aspects of our pop culture are big elsewhere; "local" in America would imply big in their home state or home city. So by that definition they are not local
#23 Considering what was asked so far and the answers you gave, I will throw a blind jab and say that it is "The Miracles", which was so far the only R&B band from Michigan I could find so far with two people in it that shared a surname, Smokey Robinson and Claudette Robinson, have more than 4 band members, and the two that share a surname are a man and a woman.
I believe they are no longer active.
No
#24 Okay, last of my questions, trying to eliminate a lot of possible big names.
Are they from Detroit?
Yes, mostly
Final thoughts?
First and foremost, thanks for hosting those interviews. They surely gave a lot of insight on the contestants you interviewed, and I hope mine will help show that I do more than just being bad at video games and drinking rum.
The contests have been a blast so far, with the display of skill being almost unbelievable among our crew and the games we played.
It is great to see how it evolved since 2010, with many more people participating, the camaraderie among our crew, the rivalries, the shenanigans that have been happening. It is all good stuff among a bunch of good people.
With everything I have slatted for 2018, I will likely not be partaking on the full season, but I do hope to see Guil to return to the fray. It would be delightful to challenge him on a few games through the course of 2018. I also want to focus more on beating games next year rather than playing competitively. I didn't beat quite enough games so far this year, which makes me a major disappointment!
And to you all that are bothering to read this, keep on being excellent, keep the game on and keep on being better at video games than me! I will drink to your honour tonight! Cheers!
