Hello everyone and welcome to the latest installment of the Weekly Contests! Your old pal Billy Lee is back and I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for helping me a few weeks ago with getting my girlfriend Marian back from my brother, Jimmy. Man did we ever kick his ass!! Can you believe how much he cried when I put him in that headlock? What a wimp! Now let's fast-forward to today: Jimmy and I are getting along a lot better now. We borrow each others' video games frequently, we hang out at Flatirons Mall in River City all the time, and Jimmy even watches Mittens for me when I put in long hours at the Double Dragon dojo. We even went to the Hyrule Cookie Bake-Off in Kakariko Village together and provided security for the event! We are like best buds now! So anyway, this afternoon the two of us are chilling back at my place with my new neighbors, the Battletoads. I know, right? I can hardly believe it myself! I'm neighbors with...the Battletoads! Their fourth brother, Jerms, couldn't make it unfortunately. They said he ate too much Spam the night before and got really sick. I'm sure Jimmy and I will meet him sooner or later. Pimple also brought his long-time girlfriend, Princess Angelica, over to hang with us as well. Apparently she is great friends with Marian and they both went out and got the famous tramp stamp dragon tattoos together. Also, the Ninja Turtles were supposed to be here, too, but they had to go save Manhattan from Shredder. Man, that Shredder guy is a party pooper! I was looking forward to hanging out with Michaelangelo since he's a party dude and all. Anyway, the doorbell rings and Jimmy goes to answer the door. We get all excited because we think the Ninja Turtles have finished saving Manhattan. Pimple is practically shrieking like a girl, while Rash and Zitz are getting out their Ninja Turtles comics to have them autographed. Jimmy flings open the door, and much to our disappointment, there's this giant rat standing there dressed up like a pizza-delivery man holding a pizza box. As Jimmy turns around and says "Who ordered a pizza," the Battletoads' jaws all drop to their knees and their eyes pop out of their heads as they bob up and down and point. Before I can do anything, this gas grenade comes flying from behind the rat and lands in the middle of the living room. Gas immediately pours from the canister and we all pass out. The last thing I remember before blacking out was seeing a half-man, half-robot shove his way past the rat and into our place, followed by a giant bull, and Bo Abobo himself! And he was saying something about leaving a special "Super C" gift in the toilet.
A little while later, we all came to and our attackers were nowhere to be found...and neither were Pimple or Princess Angelica! At that moment we hear the toilet flush and Bo Abobo comes strolling out of the bathroom with a rolled up Nintendo Power under his arm. He grins at us and says "I have no idea who those ugly creeps were that barged in, but I was in the neighborhood and had to poop REALLY badly, so I followed them in. You may want to call a plumber, BIMMY! HAHAHAHAHA!" I smack my forehead in disgust as I hear Jimmy, Rash, and Zitz giggling behind me. Just as I turn around and glare at them, Bo Abobo throws this wadded up piece of paper at me. "Oh yeah, those weirdos wanted me to give this to you guys. Smell ya later, Double Duds! HAHAHAHAHA!" I open and smooth out the note and realize it's for Rash and Zitz and hand it over to them. This is what it said:
"Hey Battle-TURDS,
Remember last Friday night at the Leisure Station when you green slimeballs bumped into me and spilled your Sonic Tonic with lime all over my sexy black dress? Well...you ruined it! That thing wasn't cheap and it cost me 1,000 Rupees last year at the Hyrule Castle Fashion Show! You wart-heads are going to pay for this! I've had my minions kidnap Pimple and Princess Angelica and bring them all the way to the Tower of Shadows on Ragnarok. You want them back? You're gonna have to get past my Giant Boss Walker, Big Blag and Scuzz, Robo-Manus, and General Slaughter and his Psyko-Pigs first! You lame brains don't stand a chance, especially in the Turbo Tunnel! Hahahahahahaha! Come and get me...if you dare!
Yours truly,
The Dark Queen
P.S. Oh yeah, those dorks in the pajamas you were hanging out with, my minions also turned all their books around backward, re-arranged their DVDs so they are no longer in alphabetical order, drank all the beer and didn't use coasters while they sat around their coffee table and watched wrestling on Pay-Per-View (wait until they get their cable bill, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!), and last but not least, changed the time on all their clocks!! Hahahahahahaha!!!!
P.P.S. Another thing...don't bring that stupid, bird-brained buzzard friend with you! I'm sick of him asking me out on a date!
P.P.S. Also, Princess Angelica has a pretty hot dragon tattoo, so I decided to get one myself...with Rash's credit card! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Have fun paying the bill on that one."
HEY! I resent what she said! Jimmy and I aren't wearing pajamas! We are wearing KARATE outfits! Sheesh, you would think some chick who is dumb enough to spend 1,000 Rupees on a dress would at least know what a karate outfit looks like! At least she didn't call me Bimmy...unlike Bo Abobo! I swear I'm going to start wearing a nametag all the time so people can get my name right! Anyway, Rash and Zitz pleaded with Jimmy and I to help them out, but there's no way we can. You see, Jimmy and I have to go star in this radical new fighter we are filming called Double Dragon: Neon and have no time for anything else. By the way, it's gonna be AWESOME! It's full of fighting...and music...and...NEON...and...well, we didn't read the script, but how could we turn something down with the word "Neon" in the title? Anyway, this is where the Battletoads need your help. You guys need to hop aboard the spaceship Vulture with them and zoom across the galaxy to Ragnarok to help get Pimple and Princess Angelica back. Cuz if you don't, I'll have to listen to Marian bitch for the next five days that she won't have anyone to go with to Girl's Night Karaoke at Club Snatcher in Neo Kobe City next Friday evening. And let me tell you, that girl can BITCH! "Billy, you play too many video games...Billy, Mittens threw up on the couch again...Billy, you snore too loud." And this goes on and on and on and on! Anyway, when you guys are done, could you maybe stop back by my place and help plunge the toilet? Bo Abobo did a number on it and I can't afford to call Mario Bros. Plumbing again. If I do, I'll have to sell off a bunch of my Sega Genesis games and that wouldn't be cool! So, here's what you need to do to guide those totally tubular toads through Ragnarok:
- 1 player only
- Play until Life 0 (no hearts remaining)
- Get as far in the game as possible
- No warps allowed
- No Rat Race glitches allowed (killing the rat to quickly end the stage)
- Lowest score takes precedence in the event of a tie (ex. two players get to the beginning of the Clinger Winger stage. Whoever has the lowest score at that point in the game takes precedence)
- Furthest progression wins with lowest score taking priority
- Participation : Get to the 3rd level
- GENRE: Beat 'Em Up
The contest ends Sunday, 6/5/16 at 11 PM NA time. Your user name MUST be written or typed on a piece of paper and be in the picture for your score to be valid. The entire TV screen, or computer monitor if you are playing on an emulator, MUST be in the picture for the score to be valid. No partial screenshots will be considered or accepted. No screenshots by hitting "print screen" on a computer will be allowed. You must take a picture of your computer monitor. There may be instances where this will be acceptable, but it will be at the discretion of myself and the contest organizers. Also, the use of turbo controllers is forbidden, as well as any cheat codes, Game Genies, slow motion functions, or save states if playing on an emulator. Also, we will only be using NTSC systems for the contests. The use of PAL systems will NOT be allowed. Good luck everyone and have fun
