Hello everyone and welcome to the latest installment of the Weekly Contests! This week's game is going to be my all-time favorite on the NES, Double Dragon 2. There's quite a lengthy intro to it, so I have decided to place it below the rules this week because of how long it is. For those who are interested in a lengthy but fun read, I highly encourage you to read Billy Lee's tragic story of revenge. For those who hate my stories and just want to play their 'tender tapes without any BS, here are the rules:
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1 player only
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Play on Supreme Master
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Play until Life 0. As soon as you get to Life 0, you must stop playing and take your picture. Anyone suspected of playing on Life 0 will have their score disqualified
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Get as far in the game as possible
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Lowest score takes precedence in the event of a tie (ex. Two people beat the game. Whoever has the lowest score upon beating the game takes precedence).
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If you beat the game, take your picture as soon as you beat the Shadow Master
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The infinite lives trick in Stage 5 at the Train is forbidden
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You are NOT allowed to start a 2 player game and kill Jimmy to get extra lives
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Furthest progression wins with lowest score taking priority
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Participation: Stage 3, inside the Helicopter
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GENRE: Beat 'Em Up
The contest ends Sunday, 3/19/17 at 11 PM NA time. Your user name MUST be written or typed on a piece of paper and be in the picture for your score to be valid. The entire TV screen, or computer monitor if you are playing on an emulator, MUST be in the picture for the score to be valid. No partial screenshots will be considered or accepted. No screenshots by hitting "print screen" on a computer will be allowed. You must take a picture of your computer monitor. There may be instances where this will be acceptable, but it will be at the discretion of myself and the contest organizers. Also, the use of turbo controllers is forbidden, as well as any cheat codes, Game Genies, slow motion functions, or save states if playing on an emulator. Also, we will only be using NTSC systems for the contests. The use of PAL systems will NOT be allowed. Good luck everyone and have fun
And now, for all three of you who are interested, here is the story:
Hey guys...it's your old pal...Billy Lee...or Bimmy as everyone else mistakenly calls me. Sorry, but...I'm...I'm just really sad today. I hate to say this, but...a couple weeks ago...my girlfriend...you know her...Marian...she was killed! I know, I can hardly believe it myself. She's...gone! Yeah, she could be a huge nag and always got after me for a lot of stuff, but...dammit...she loved me so much. And I loved her so much. Jimmy and my best buds, the Battletoads and Ninja Turtles, have been very supportive so far. They've done so much for me in this time of mourning. How did it happen, you say? Well, here's the story:
Just two weeks ago, me and my hockey team absolutely clobbered the Abobos and I found a threatening letter in the locker room by some guy who went by the initials “S.M.” that said he would get revenge on me for the Abobo's defeat. I shrugged it off, wadded up the letter, and threw it in the trash. Flash-forward to a couple nights later, Marian was so proud of me that she decided to take me out to dinner as a celebration for the ice hockey win. We settled on this new Chinese place called Hoo-Flung Poo because it got five-star ratings on Google, so I threw on my new Essence of Octorok by Link cologne and Marian put on this really hot and tight new red dress she bought at Tomb Raider's (it was designed by Lara Croft, so no wonder it was tight) and we left for the restaurant. It was a really nice night out, so we decided to walk, plus my 6000 SUX sports car was in the shop (again). Marian sure turned some heads on the street that night, including this eggplant that was standing by a pawn shop with his buddy. Whoa, hold on a second, I'm not being racist. The guy was literally a giant eggplant! What did you think I was talking about? I live in a video game themed world, of course there's going to be some weird looking folk around. He was hanging out with a daikon radish. Don't believe me? Just see for yourself:
Anyway, the eggplant looked Marian up and down and said “Hey, baby, you wanna come have some fun with me tonight?” Marian just turned to me, wrapped her arm around mine, smiled, and replied “Nope, I've got my fun right here.” I glared evilly at the eggplant, my hands balling into fists at his propositioning of my girlfriend as we walked by him. I was very protective of Marian and no one was going to talk to her like that. He shot me a smug smile like he wanted to fight as he spit a toothpick from his mouth. “You got a problem there, sonny boy” the eggplant shouted to me, a definite challenge to a fight. Before I could reply or attempt to start a fight, Marian put a hand to my face, turned my head toward her, and smiled that big beautiful smile of hers that I absolutely loved. “Hey” she replied. “That guy has nothing on you. You're the one I love and will ALWAYS love.” Marian then planted a big kiss on my lips that seemed to last a lifetime. As she pulled away, she smiled that big beautiful smile again and all I could do was smile back at her as she gripped my arm tighter in a lover's embrace. I turned my gaze back to the eggplant and shouted “How do you like that, 'sonny boy.'” The eggplant simply just shook his head as we headed off down the street to the restaurant. At that moment, an overwhelming feeling pervaded my entire body. A feeling that I had never felt in my entire life, a feeling that I absolutely loved and couldn't shake from my brain. Marian was the woman I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with. Yeah, yeah, we had been together for a while and I knew she loved me a lot, but that encounter with the eggplant made me realize she would love me until the end of time...or at least the end of each others' lives.
When we got to the restaurant, I found it unusual that we were the only ones there, but, whatever. I had the whole place to myself with my sexy girl. Right away the hostess, who looked really familiar to me, was very friendly to us. This is what she looked like:
“Welcome to Hoo-Flung Poo. How many in your party” she asked as she grabbed a couple menus from the front counter. I turned around and looked behind me and then to my side, expecting there to be more people standing around us. I simply couldn't believe her idiotic question. It was just me and Marian standing there, no one else. I would have expected this kind of question from Bo Abobo, but not this very manly lady standing right in front of us. Before I could could give a smartass reply, Marian jumped in and said “A table for two will do.” “Very well, follow me” the hostess answered as she escorted us to our table, glancing over at me in the process. As she brought us to our table, I couldn't help but notice the hostess was staring at me again. That feeling of familiarity washed over me once again and I just couldn't stand the suspense any longer. “Do I know you from somewhere” I questioned as the hostess set our menus down on the table. “I get that a lot, but I doubt it in your case” she replied with a hint of skepticism. I got the feeling that she knew who I was, but wasn't going to let on to it. “Babe” Marian replied as she put a hand on my arm. “Just sit down and let's enjoy a nice dinner together.” I gave the hostess an untrustworthy glare as she made her way back to her work station. As I sat down in my seat, I casually gazed around the restaurant at the other workers present. I noticed a busboy at one of the far-end tables slowly cleaning up after a previous patron, his steely and stern gaze cutting right into my very being. A few tables passed him, I noticed a waiter sitting in a booth counting his tips, the same look on his face as the busboy. These guys looked like they wanted to jump me and kick my ass. The funny thing was, they looked very familiar, too. Just look at them:
“What are you guys staring at” I shouted angrily at the two men. “Better not be my hot girlfriend.” The two men slowly turned their gaze from me and back to what they were doing, only the busboy snorted angrily as he scrubbed harder at the table he was cleaning. “There a problem over there” I shouted angrily at the man across the room. “Babe, please knock it off” Marian scolded. “Just look at the menu and ignore them. We are here for us, not them.” I sighed as I shot once last angry glance at the busboy and nodded in agreement as I opened my menu. “You're right, Marian” I replied uneasily as I began to read through the menu. “This is a cause for celebration. My hockey win against the Abobos.” Before Marian could say a word, a waiter approached our table. I looked up at him and my eyebrows instantly lowered. He looked incredibly familiar as well. Just look at him, too:
“Hello, my name is Chin” the waiter replied rather unenthusiastically. Suddenly, the busboy shot our waiter a very evil glance, squinting his eyes in the process. Something suspicious was definitely going on around here. “...tai. Chintai...Hen...tai. Chintai Hentai. I'm Chintai Hentai and I'll be your server this evening” the waiter replied as he stumbled over his words. “That's quite the name” I answered sarcastically as I glanced up at him with suspicion. “Can I start you both off with something to drink” he asked as he ignored my question. “I'll have lemon iced tea, please” Marian answered as she smiled at the waiter. “And how about you sir” our waiter asked as he turned to me. All I could do was stare angrily up at him. The suspicious nature of everyone around here was raising so many alarms inside me I felt like jumping up out of my seat, grabbing the guy by the front of his outfit, and questioning him as to what was going on. “Billy” Marian scolded as she kicked me in the shin. “Just answer the guy. You're embarrassing me.” I winced slightly at the kick, but kept my gaze upon the waiter. “Water” I replied sternly. “And nothing but water.” The waiter jotted down some notes on a notepad and then flipped it closed. “Very well” he answered. “I'll return soon with your drinks.” As he walked away from us, I gazed coldly at him as he disappeared into the kitchen. Suddenly, I felt Marian kick me in the leg once again. As I turned around back to her, I noticed an annoyed look on her face. “Billy, what has gotten in to you” Marian scolded quietly as she glared at me. “You're acting completely weird right now, in fact, more weird than normal.” “I don't trust these people” I retorted. “They seem to have something against me.” Marian put her hand over her face and shook her head in disgust. I could tell she was getting irritated with me. “Billy, they don't have anything against you. Stop being so paranoid” Marian replied angrily. “I want to go eat somewhere else” I demanded as I closed up my menu and dropped it on the table in front of me. “Not here. I want to leave.” “What's wrong with you? Is this about that revenge letter that was in your locker after the hockey game” Marian questioned as she stared at me in disbelief. I just crossed my arms and shook my head, trying not to let her know that the letter actually bothered me deep down inside. “No...no...not at all” I lied as I continued to shake my head. “It is, isn't it” Marian replied. All I could do was shake my head in disagreement, hoping she wouldn't realize that I was afraid. “Billy, you're not a good liar at all” Marian said angrily. “Okay, maybe I am a little nervous” I finally replied as I fidgeted in my chair. “Billy, if someone wanted to hurt you over a silly hockey game, they would have done so by now” Marian said reassuringly. “They would have had numerous opportunities to get you at our apartment, while you were at work, while you were hanging out with your friends. And guess what? Nothing happened. You're just as safe...WE'RE just as safe as we were before. That letter, it was just those stupid Abobos trying to intimidate you. They're sore losers and they thought they could intimidate you with it. Well, you know what, it's working. They've got you looking over your shoulder at everyone in this restaurant.” I began to take what Marian said to heart. Maybe that letter was just the Abobos trying to scare me. Maybe they were just trying to get some sort of stupid revenge on me from beyond the ice rink. I glanced around at the workers in the restaurant and they were no longer looking at me, but busy doing their jobs. “Maybe you're right” I finally said to Marian as I nodded my head in agreement. “I KNOW I'm right” Marian answered as she squeezed my hand reassuringly. I smiled slightly and put my other hand over hers. “But...all these workers here” I replied with some skepticism. “They all look familiar to me. I KNOW I've seen them somewhere before.” “Billy, we've eaten at dozens of Chinese restaurants in this city over the years” Marian replied as she rolled her eyes. “These people probably worked at a few of them.” “But they keep giving me weird and angry and suspicious looks” I answered quietly. “They're probably people you stiffed on a tip over the years because of crappy service” Marian countered. “Please stop being so paranoid over that silly letter. We are here to have a good time. Can we please just have a nice dinner tonight?” Suddenly, our waiter appeared with our drinks on a tray. He set them down carefully in front of us, placed the empty tray on a nearby table, and flipped open his notepad. “Are you both ready to order” he asked as he clicked his pen. “Yes, yes we are” I answered as I stared ahead at Marian. My girlfriend was so absolutely confident that everything would be okay that she would have bet one million dollars on it. She was so sure that we would sit down and have a nice dinner together and laugh and enjoy each others' company. But she was wrong. She was so VERY wrong! It wouldn't be long until things quickly took a turn for the worse.
For the record, Marian and I had a fabulous dinner that night. We ate a lot of food, told funny stories, talked about our future together, and had just an overall good time. We had been a couple for a very long time, since high school in fact, but something about tonight felt very special, yet very sad at the exact same time. The longer we sat there and ate, the more it felt like it would be our last night together. I tried to shake this horrible feeling from my head, but it wouldn't go away. I think I did a good idea of hiding it from Marian because she had no idea of the awful feeling I had deep down inside my stomach. “Billy, how many eggrolls have you eaten tonight” Marian finally said after I told her some funny story about a prank I played on Jimmy when we were kids. “Um, I think I've eaten at least eight of them” I replied as I stuffed my mouth full of Chinese noodles. “But I think I've got one around here somewhere to give you later tonight.” I wiggled my eyebrows slyly as Marian shook her head in disgust and rolled her eyes. “Billy, I love you, but you keep that up, and I don't think so” she replied as she took another bite of her dinner. I glanced over at the second waiter, who was still counting his tips in the far booth, and realized the suit he was wearing was at least two sizes too small for him. The thing looked like it was ready to burst at the seams and I swear you could see his stomach poking out from underneath it. I turned my head back to Marian and covered my mouth as I tried to stifle back laughter. “What's so funny” Marian asked with a confused look on her face. “The other waiter, over there” I motioned as Marian turned to look at him. “His suit doesn't fit him. Look, his stomach is poking out.” I could see Marian stifle back a bit of laughter as she turned around to face me. “Babe, stop it” Marian giggled as the second waiter slowly shifted his eyes toward us, a sour look on his face. “He's going to hear you.” Suddenly, our waiter appeared by our table, staring down at the two of us with cold, dark eyes. By the way he looked at us, I wasn't sure if he heard us laughing at his co-worker and found it distasteful, but I could tell otherwise that this guy definitely had an issue with me. “Is there anything else I can get for you two tonight” he asked rather unenthusiastically. “Mmmmm” I moaned as I slurped up a noodle. “Yes there is, as a matter of fact. We would each like a fortune cookie...please.” The waiter stared down at us and smiled an evil grin that I would never forget. At the time, it seemed harmless, but later I would realize that there was much maliciousness behind it. “That sounds great” Marian chimed in as she took a sip of her iced tea. “I'm dying to know what mine says.” “I bet you are” the waiter answered in a haunting and hollow voice as he walked away from our table and disappeared into the kitchen. The tone in his voice sent chills up and down my spine and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. But that beautiful smile on Marian's face made me forget all that, even though tragedy was soon about to strike my life.
Our waiter returned a few minutes later with our fortune cookies sitting by themselves on a doily on his serving tray. He slowly lowered the platter to table level so that we could reach them easily. “Sir” he said to me as he nodded at my fortune cookie. I grabbed mine quickly and held it in my hands, eagerly waiting for Marian to take hers. “Miss” the waiter said to Marian as he nodded to her. She grabbed her fortune cookie quickly and held it close to her, a silly smile spreading across her face at the same time. “I hope you both enjoy” the waiter said as he bowed slightly and walked away from our table. “You open yours first” Marian said excitedly as she clutched hers like she had just found a gold bar on the street. “No, you first” I laughed as I clutched mine in the same manner. “I said it first, handsome” Marian retorted as she winked at me. “How about we open ours at the same time” I countered as a smile spread across my face. “Okay, fine” Marian replied excitedly as she cracked her fortune cookie. I quickly cracked mine open in an effort to keep up with her. We both removed our fortunes at the same time and tossed the cookie pieces on our dinner plates. She stared at hers for a moment before emitting a short, but forced laugh. This wasn't just any forced laugh meant to instill humor in an otherwise dull situation, but a laugh of disbelief. Like she couldn't believe what she had just read. I stared at her uneasily as her eyes narrowed, looking at this little piece of paper in her hand as if it told her to do something utterly diabolical. I hadn't looked at mine yet, but I could hardly stand the suspense of what hers said. “Well, what does it say” I questioned as I laughed uneasily. Marian gulped nervously as she licked her lips. I could tell she didn't really want to read what was contained on that fortune in her hands. “It says” she replied nervously “'You will die tonight.'” I think my eyes bugged out of my head when she read that and I was suddenly ready to leap over the table and rip the fortune from her hands. Something didn't feel right deep down inside me. “What” I stammered in disbelief. “That can't be what it says.” “That's what it says” Marian answered nervously as she looked up and noticed our waiter heading back to our table. “Billy, what does yours say?” I snorted in disbelief at what she was asking. Here, my girlfriend was asking me what my fortune cookie said right after she said her fortune said she would die. I couldn't believe that mine took any precedence over the supposed threat she held in her hands. “What” I stammered in disbelief. “What does yours say” she asked again as the waiter, Chintai Hentai, came closer. “Let me see yours” I demanded as I reached across the table for Marian's fortune. “Dammit, what does yours say” she said angrily as she pulled away from me. I could tell I wasn't going to win this fight. I snorted angrily and sat back in my chair as I finally glanced down at my fortune. I stared at it for what seemed like an eternity before the words scrawled across the paper sunk in. It took only moments for the words to have any sort of meaning and the suspicion deep within my gut hit an all-time high. I stared forward at Marian, a look of fear spreading across my face in the process. I'm sure my face was white as a ghost because she suddenly looked very frightened. Like, she was really scared. In fact, I had never seen that look of fear on her face in all the time we had been together. “What does it say” Marian questioned, her voice shaking. I licked my lips uneasily as I read the fortune laid out before me. “It says” I replied, my tongue drier than a martini. “'The love of your life will die tonight.'” Marian stared at me as if I had I just made all of it up. “What” she replied in disbelief as the waiter finally approached our table, his hands behind his back. “Are you ready for the bill” Chintai Hentai asked as he stared coldly at us. I don't know if it was divine intervention or just some little voice in my head, but something deep inside myself told me to look around the restaurant. I noticed that the busboy, hostess, and the other waiter were all standing facing us, evil stares emblazoned across their faces. “No, we are aren't” I said quickly to the waiter. “Bring us another round of drinks and some new fortune cookies.” “Is there something wrong with the ones I brought you” the waiter asked, a demanding tone in his voice. I glanced over at Marian and I could see complete and utter fear crossing her face. She looked as if she were absolutely afraid for her life. As I stared at her, the hostess, busboy, and other waiter closed in on us a bit closer. “Yeah, there is something wrong with them” I replied as I turned my attention to Chintai Hentai. “They're a little too deadly for my liking.” The next few moments would go by extremely quickly, but felt like an eternity to me.
“Well, that's too bad” Chinati Hentai replied. “That's all we have left. You'll have to accept it.” For whatever reason, I suddenly remembered a bit of advice my uncle gave me way back in the third grade when I had to give a class presentation on the American Civil War. I was nervous about standing up in front of the class to give my speech and would have rather gotten a failing grade on the project than stand in front of my peers and talk to them for a few minutes. “Billy” my uncle said gently. “If you ever get too nervous, just imagine your audience in their underwear. It will make things a whole lot easier on yourself.” That advice suddenly came crashing down on me as I stared at our waiter with an immense amount of distrust. Now, before you go thinking I'm gay or something, I pictured our waiter, Chintai Hentai, in his underwear. Yeah, that's exactly what I did. And you know what, it worked. As I pictured him in his underwear, it suddenly became all too clear to me who he really was. Just take a look. Here he is in his waiter uniform and then in his underwear:
Our waiter was none other than Chin of the Black Warrior's gang. A sudden gleaming from behind his back caught my attention and I turned my head toward it. I noticed him slowly removing a knife from his back pocket and immediately sprung into action. “Knife” I shouted loudly as I jumped up and tackled our waiter onto another table. “Billy, what in the hell are you doing” Marian shouted in disbelief as she stood up from her chair and watched as I slugged Chintai Hentai in the face over and over again until blood ran from his nose and he dropped the knife onto the floor. Suddenly, I felt hands on my back as I was grabbed by the shirt and thrown onto another table very hard, silverware clattering noisily to the floor as I rolled over to face my attackers. As I looked up, I suddenly realized the identities of the other workers in the restaurant: the busboy was Williams, the other waiter was Rowper, and the hostess was Linda, all members of the Black Warriors, just like Chin. As I looked up at them, they suddenly and inexplicably tore off their uniforms like the main character from the movie Future War did at the end during the fight in the church. Don't know what I'm talking about? Just watch the ending of the movie as it is riffed on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Then you'll know what I mean. In fact, just watch the stinger to the episode and then you'll understand. Anyway, as I attempted to climb to my feet, I heard Chin growl “Linda, grab the girl. Williams, Rowper, you handle him.” Suddenly, I felt rough hands wrap themselves around my arms and hoist me to my feet. I could see a panicked look spread across Marian's face as she looked from me to Linda, who was advancing quickly on my girlfriend. Just seconds before Linda could lay a hand on her, Marian acted quickly, grabbed her dinner plate, and shattered it across the woman's face. The Black Warrior shrieked in pain and dropped to the floor, blood oozing between her fingers as she held a hand to her injured face. “You...BITCH” Chin growled as he hurried his way over to Marian. Struggling to break free from my captors, all I could manage to do was shout “Marian, get out of here! RUN!” “But Billy, I can't leave you here...” “Just go” I interrupted as I continued to struggle. “I can handle myself.” Marian, breathing heavily with the same panicked look still etched across her face, turned and ran for the restaurant exit, flipping chairs and tables in the process to slow down the quickly advancing Chin. “You guys stay on him, I'm going to call for back-up to get the girl” Chin nodded to Williams and Rowper as he ran for the door and dialed a number on a cell phone he produced from his pocket. Before I could even move or fight back against the two Black Warriors holding me captive, Williams threw an incredibly hard punch into my stomach, knocking the wind out of me and causing me to almost puke up the dinner I had eaten just minutes prior. I could feel my knees buckle from the force of the blow, but my captors kept me from completely hitting the floor as I coughed loudly and gasped for air. “Oh, we'll take care of him” Williams snarled as an evil smile spread across his face. “Let's cut this Double Dragon up. Rowper, hold him down.” Without speaking a word, Rowper grabbed a hold of me with his powerful hands and slammed me down onto one of the tables. Williams suddenly appeared over me, the knife previously held by Chin in his hand, a malicious look in his eyes as he slowly waved the weapon back and forth. “Next time your brother sees you, Double Dragon, you're going to be in many pieces” Williams snarled as he brought the knife close to my face. At that moment, I felt nothing but pure adrenaline and survival instinct take over my entire body. I spit in Williams' eyes, causing him to recoil just long enough for me to bring a knee up into Rowper's stomach. As the large man released his beastly grasp on me, I jumped up and stomped on him right behind the kneecap, a sickening crack emanating throughout the restaurant as he screamed in absolute and utter pain. He dropped to the floor in agony as Williams wiped his eyes, regained his vision, and came at me with the knife. I quickly anticipated the attack, grabbed him by the wrist as he closed in, twisted hard until he dropped the knife on a nearby table, and slammed his arm down on the same table. As he winced and tried to free himself from my grip, I quickly grabbed the knife and drove it through his hand and into the table. “Stick around, asshole” I growled at Williams as he screamed in pain, his free arm desperately trying to remove the firmly wedged knife from the table. Regaining my bearings after the brief fight, I glanced over at Linda to make sure she wasn't going to come after me. She was still lying on the floor holding her bloody face, moaning quietly in pain as she staggered around on her hands and knees. Without a moment of hesitation, I ran for the restaurant's exit, flung open the door, and stepped out into the neon-filled night.
As I moved out onto the sidewalk, I frantically looked in every direction for Chin and Marian. Glancing over to my left, I caught a glimpse of Chin as he rounded the block and disappeared from view. I hurriedly took off down the sidewalk, my feet thudding hard on the concrete as I pushed my way past other citizens out and about enjoying the fun, and sometimes sleazy, nightlife on this warm evening. I pushed my way past hookers, pimps, drug dealers, gang bangers, businessmen looking to get a quick fix of drugs or sex, undercover cops who couldn't give a shit that my girlfriend was being chased down by a thug who wanted to kill her. I didn't care if any of these people wanted me dead, in jail, beaten to a pulp, or just to never see me again, I had to get to Marian before Chin did. I know I heard a few curse words and death threats hurled my way, but it was all nothing to me at this point. My girlfriend was in danger and I needed to save her, no matter the cost. As I rounded the corner of the block, Marian and Chin were nowhere to be seen. I ran a hand through my hair as I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. I needed to figure out where they went...and fast before Chin could hurt her...or worse. I noticed the eggplant and his daikon radish buddy were still hanging out in front of the pawn shop Marian and I had passed earlier that evening and ran toward the two of them. “Hey, man” I shouted quickly to the eggplant. “Have you seen my girlfriend? You know, the hot girl you tried to proposition earlier tonight? I think she may have come by here.” The eggplant turned his head in my direction as he took a drag on his cigarette, staring at me with hateful eyes. “Shit, man, if you can't keep track of a piece of ass like that, then you don't deserve to be with her” he replied with an arrogant smirk as he took another drag on his cigarette. I could feel anger boiling up inside of me as the daikon radish snickered at his buddy's distasteful joke. The anger inside me became so intense I could hear it throbbing in my head like a beat of drums. With Marian's life in danger and not wanting to waste another second, I grabbed the eggplant by the front of the shirt and slammed him hard against the gate of the closed pawn shop. “My girlfriend's life is in danger, shithead” I shrieked loudly as I came face to face with the guy. “And you think this shit is funny? Tell me what I want to know or you're gonna be eating that cigarette!” The clicking of a switchblade to my right caught my attention as I heard the daikon radish say “You looking to die tonight, punk?” Without really taking the time to think about what I was doing, I threw an elbow punch to the side of the head of my would-be attacker. I heard the knife clatter to the sidewalk as the radish dropped to the ground, groaning painfully as he held the side of his head. “Yo, man, I don't have to tell you nothing” the eggplant said angrily as he stared hard into my eyes. “Hope you're hungry” I retorted as I yanked the cigarette from his big lips and began forcing it into his mouth. He coughed and sputtered several times as I struggled to jam the cigarette into his mouth. I finally managed to make it disappear into his mouth, but he immediately spit it out, coughing like he had just inhaled a dark cloud of smoke. “Man, you're crazy” he sputtered as he tried to catch his breath. “Last chance to talk before I turn you into eggplant parmesan” I threatened as I pushed him harder against the gate. “Where is my girlfriend?” “Okay, okay, I saw her and some ugly mopped-headed chink take off down that alley over there” he replied as he winced in pain and pointed down the street. Suddenly, I heard a loud shriek emanate from the alley that echoed up and down the street, a pained scream that meant someone was in serious trouble. I knew right then and there that it was Marian. I shoved the eggplant away, grabbed the switchblade off the sidewalk, and ran for the alley, running faster than I think I ever ran in my life.
As I rounded the corner, I could see Chin and another unidentifiable colossal frame standing hunched over a spot at the far end of the dimly lit alley. Fearing the worst, I gripped the knife tightly in my hand and made my way toward the two figures. “Chin” I shouted loudly, the anger within me slowly being replaced with fear that the two people were standing over Marian's body. As Chin and the other person turned around to face me, my eyes practically bugged out of my head when I recognized that the gigantic shape belonged to none other than Bo Abobo. “Bo” I sputtered as I stared at the hulking brute standing before me. “You better not have hurt Marian!” “Hahahaha, that's for you to find out. I told you there would be revenge” Bo Abobo laughed as he began to size me up and down for a fight. “You're too late, Double Dragon” Chin cackled evilly as he pointed a finger at me. “Take him, Bo.” I ran toward Bo Abobo as he began to move toward me, completely sure that he had done something to my beloved Marian. With the daikon radish's switchblade extended forward, I was ready to take the life of the man who had been my bitter rival for longer than I could even remember. As I closed in on him, and before I could even attempt to attack Bo Abobo, I felt a foot strike my hand, knocking the switchblade through the air. It clattered noisily on the ground moments before it bounced down into a nearby storm drain. I dropped to the ground immediately, holding my wrist as immense pain seared though it. I looked up and realized Chin had disarmed me before I could even attack Bo Abobo. The next thing I knew, Bo Abobo had grabbed me by the front of the shirt and slammed me against the wall, growling as he glared hard at me. He slammed me into the wall several more times, leaving me to the point of almost losing consciousness as Chin approached. “Bo, that's enough” Chin commanded as the big man dropped me hard to the ground. I coughed several times and groaned in pain as Chin crouched down next to me and grabbed me roughly by the hair. Staring through groggy eyes, I could see he was just inches from my face. “The Master's threats should not have been taken lightly. You underestimated his strength and power and now it has cost you...dearly. Think about that the next time you try to cross ANY of us” Chin growled menacingly. Police sirens began to fill the air and grew closer as the two Black Warriors suddenly snapped to attention and realized that they needed to retreat before being caught. “Follow us, and the rest of your family will be the next to die, starting with your brother” Chin said quickly and menacingly as the police sirens came even closer. “Let's go, Bo.” Chin pushed my head aside as he let go and I heard Bo Abobo snicker gleefully as the two men quickly fled the alley. “Smell ya later, Double Dork” I heard Bo Abobo crack as he disappeared from view. I didn't care what Chin had just said, I wanted to get up and kill the two of them. As I struggled to get to my feet in my weakened state, I quickly dropped back down to my knees. My head swimming from the beating I had just received, I heard coughing a short distance from where I sat. The coughing came from a body lying on the ground, a hand feebly raising in the air, reaching out to me as if trying to get my attention. The tight, red dress on the body looked very, very familiar, as did the shoulder-length auburn hair. As I shook the daze from my head, I realized that the body belonged to Marian. Fear seized my entire body as I snapped to attention and tried to make my way to my feet to reach my girlfriend, except my legs felt like giant pieces of rubber and I immediately fell back to the ground in a heap. With no other options in my current state, I quickly made my way across the alley on all fours to the body of Marian, tears streaming from my face as I feared the worst. As I reached her, I noticed her hand holding a bloody spot on her stomach, her face a very pale color as she struggled to breathe. As the police sirens came even closer, I tried to call for help but I felt the words get caught up in my throat. The fear and sadness building its way up within me had left me utterly and completely speechless. “Billy” I heard Marian say quietly as she reached up with her other hand and put it to my face. “Marian” I finally croaked as I took her in my arms, tears streaming down my face. “Billy” Marian muttered once again as I held her in my arms, trying to find the strength to scream out for help. “I...I'm going to get you help” I croaked as I held the love of my life in my arms. “Just please, for the love of God, stay with me, Marian.” “Billy” Marian muttered again, this time more weakly. “I...I love you, Billy.” “Marian” I answered, practically on the verge of tears. “I love you, Billy” Marian said again, this time her voice barely a whisper. “I love you too, Marian. You hang in there, dammit, you hang in there” I replied as I held her tightly. Suddenly, I heard Marian gasp for air like someone were choking the life out of her, a labored gasp that sounded very wet, like blood had entered her lungs, and then she went limp in my arms. I felt myself on the verge of losing utter control as I shook her gently, grasping to the hope that she had just passed out and not died. But I knew the horrible truth. “Help” I managed to spit from my mouth in a tone barely above a whisper as the police sirens made their way to the entrance of the alley. As I breathed heavier and held Marian tighter in my arms, I finally found the strength to shout at the top of my lungs. “Help...Help...HELP...HELP...HEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!” I shrieked over and over as I held the dead body of the woman I loved more than anything on the planet.
This was all a couple weeks ago. When the police found me and Marian's body, I was soaked in her blood, so naturally, I was the immediate suspect. They cleared me of any wrongdoing pretty quick when they found the bloody knife Chin used to murder Marian in a nearby dumpster and ran it for fingerprints. Of course, they were unable to find Chin or Bo Abobo or Williams or Rowper or even Linda. There were no traces of their whereabouts and it was as if they had just vanished into thin air. Even Chin's fingerprints on the knife didn't turn up much. Sure, they had the identity of the killer, but any location they linked him to turned up a dead end. Marian's death quickly turned into a cold case, and with that, me into an alcoholic. I found that the only way I could get myself to sleep at night was to drink myself into oblivion. If I wasn't drunk by four in the afternoon, life meant nothing to me. I stopped going to the karate dojo, I stopped hanging out with the Battletoads and the Ninja Turtles, I simply just stopped giving a damn in general. All I wanted to do was drink a fifth and lay in bed and cry and wish Marian was lying right beside me, her arms wrapped tightly around me or my arms around her, big smiles on our faces as we held each other in an everlasting lovers' embrace. My life had become a living hell from which I could not escape.
Marian's funeral was a wonderful celebration of her life, but difficult for me at the same time. I broke down numerous times, especially at the cemetery when we all said our final goodbyes as she was lowered into the ground. As we made our way back to our vehicles, something strange happened to me. While I was by myself, a very old Japanese woman approached me, hobbling along on a cane. I had seen her at the funeral and thought it strange that she had been staring at me numerous times, but quickly shook it off as I mourned for Marian. And now here she was, just one-on-one with me as I attempted to step into my car. “Billy Lee” she asked in a hoarse voice as I fumbled for my car keys. I turned slowly around toward her, hoping this wasn't another Black Warriors trap. “Who's asking” I replied as I readied myself internally for a potential ambush. “I am Hiruko, an old friend of Marian's family” the elderly woman replied as she smiled at me warmly. “And I have a message to deliver to you.” “Oh, yeah, and what’s that” I scoffed, thinking that this was just going to be some big joke. The woman's face turned very serious, her eyes squinting at me angrily as if I had just insulted her very badly. “If the illusion spreads, the evil will live again. But if two dragons soar through the sky, an angel will fall to the Earth” Hiruko replied seriously, the same cold stare on her face. “Lady, I don't have time for this crazy mumbo-jumbo bullshit” I half laughed, half replied in disbelief at her crazy words as I turned back to my car. Hiruko approached me closer, grabbed me by the back of my dress suit, and spun me around, forcing me back up against my car as she jabbed me in the chest with her cane. “Do not let the illusion spread, or Earth is doomed” she replied even more seriously than before as she continued to jab me with her cane. “If two dragons soar through the sky, then, and only then can you get back what you most desire.” With the last thrust of her cane, the poke caused me to drop my car keys and I sighed angrily as they bounced under the vehicle. “Lady, I'm no philosophy major” I replied angrily as I bent over and fished for my keys. “What in the hell are you talking about?” As I stood up to confront the old woman, I was startled to see that she was gone. I looked on the other side of my car, up and down the main drive of the cemetery, and even amongst the other graves, but could not find her. It was as if she had vanished into thin air. I readjusted my tie, glanced around one last time for Hiruko, and climbed into my car, her haunting words ringing throughout my brain. It wouldn't take me long to forget about what she had said, but those words would eventually have a very clear meaning for me.
I found out later on from a police detective that the Black Warriors had killed all the employees and what few patrons were in the restaurant in the minutes before Marian and I arrived for our dinner date and then posed as the workers of Hoo-Flung Poo. That part I already knew, about the Black Warriors being dressed as restaurant workers. I figured it out on my own just seconds before they attacked me and Marian, but how they knew we would be going there to eat dinner that night is beyond me. However, one thing has bugged me about the letter I received from this mysterious S.M. person after the hockey game against the Abobos: “I will be lurking in the shadows, watching your every move, ready to strike when you least suspect it.” Part of me can't help but wonder if this S.M. person had been watching me in the days after the game. Maybe he watched Marian and I plan our date and set everything up so he could get revenge on me. Or maybe I'm just crazy. In the weeks after Marian was brutally murdered, one word has been echoing and resonating through my head...revenge. Bo Abobo promised his new boss would get revenge for my team's hockey victory. Revenge. What in the hell would this guy know about “revenge.” He could barely assemble a competent hockey team. Revenge. I've talked about this numerous times in the past, especially when it came to playing the Abobos in sports. Revenge. I talked about it when Jimmy kidnapped Marian over a silly prank. Revenge. I went on about it when the Battletoads faced off against the Black Queen. Revenge. As I lay here at 3 AM in my bed in my boxers, staring endlessly at my favorite picture of Marian while I suck on a giant bottle of whiskey and drunkenly cry my eyes out, that word echoes through my head. Revenge. I stare at the empty spot in my bed where Marian used to sleep, where we used to cuddle, where we used to fall asleep together, where we used to talk about our future together, where we used to make love to each other as I hear this voice screaming in my head. Revenge. I slap my hands against my forehead repeatedly, hoping it will go away. Revenge. But it won't go away. I take another giant swig of whiskey, praying it will go away then. But it doesn't go away. Revenge. I bury my face in the pillows on the bed and scream at the top of my lungs, but quickly break down crying as I smell Marian on them. Revenge. I put a knife to my neck in an attempt to stop the voice, but I'm too much of a coward to slit my own throat. Revenge. I contemplate throwing myself from the balcony of my apartment to end the voice, but again, I'm too much of a coward. Revenge. I think about hanging myself with my bed sheets to stop the voice, but chicken out because they were the sheets Marian and I slept on together. Revenge. I can hear the voice shouting at me like it is scolding me. Revenge. I can hear it laughing at me like it is taunting me. Revenge. I can hear it crying loudly at me like it lost its lover. Revenge. As I close my eyes tightly, trying to shake this horrible voice from my head, I can hear it growl at me like it wants me to kill. Revenge! At that moment, I opened my eyes and sat up straight in bed, sweat pouring down my face like a waterfall, suddenly realizing what I needed to do. Revenge. There was no way that those responsible for Marian's death were going to get away with it. Revenge. The word was now pulsating through my head like a steady heartbeat. Revenge...revenge...revenge. I decided right then and there that they all had to die, all of them that had anything to do with it. Revenge. And that I would be the one to kill them. Linda, Rowper, Williams, and especially Bo Abobo and Chin. Revenge. Even those that didn't help do it, but were a part of the revenge plan. Abore, Bolo, Burnov. Revenge. And last, but not least, this mysterious S.M. guy. Revenge. They were all going to die. Revenge. Horrible deaths. Revenge. All at my hands. Revenge. And I wouldn't stop until every last one of them was dead. Revenge...revenge...revenge...REVENGE! The throbbing in my head became so great I chucked the half empty bottle of whiskey at the wall as hard as I could. It shattered loudly as glass showered across the carpet in my bedroom and whiskey trickled down the wall. I curled up into a ball in my bed and shook violently for what seemed like hours. Revenge. I would truly have it at last. Revenge. There was going to be no stopping me now. Revenge. This Double Dragon was going to finally get his...Revenge!
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