Hello everyone and welcome to the latest installment of the Weekly Contests! This week's game takes us all the way down to center ice for an intense game of ice hockey against those idiotic, pea-brained, low-IQ'ed, dummyhead morons that make up Team Abobo! Oh damn, I totally forgot to introduce myself. I'm the legendary ice hockey player Bimmy Gretzky and me and my team of all-stars have been challenged to a good old hockey game by the Abobos. In case you haven't been following along or are new to the game, the feud between Team Bimmy and Team Abobo runs deep. We clobbered those idiots at basketball, but then they HUMILIATED us at baseball (hey, my team stunk and the Abobos CHEATED). Naturally, we got our revenge at golf and beat the crap out of those guys...even though they buried me in a sand trap and farted in my face... Anyway, the score is 2-1 in favor of Team Bimmy and I think we have the skills to top Team Abobo once again. I've built my team around some of the best hockey players to ever bury the puck in the net. First off, I have the legendary Rowper “The Rocket” Richard on the right wing and man can this guy score! What...no, not score with women! Shoot the puck in the net! Geez! I'm talking hockey here. Anyway, I have a stud defenseman who is going to defect to our team and really give us some skill in the defensive end! That's right, our team has recruited one of the Abobos! We have landed the ever-coveted Abore Orr! This guy is so good that he should be playing offense, but he prefers to play the backend! Hey, whatever floats his boat I guess. The backend is definitely an exit only to me! I was also able to recruit Ranzou Robitaille to my team. Talk about a left winger who can really bury the puck before overtime is set to begin. I even got the likes of Chin Yzerman to play with us against the Abobos. Sure, his name may be hard to pronounce and he may have been taking a whizz when I called him up to draft him to my team, but I tell ya, he is a proven leader and will help us beat these dummyheads for a second straight time. I guarantee it more than Mark Messier guaranteeing a win in the 1994 Stanley Cup Playoffs! I've even secured my younger cousin, Connor McBimmy, to play on our team. He's the next great up-and-coming hockey star and you better believe you'll be hearing his name for years to come. With a name like Bimmy, he has to be good! Am I right or AM I RIGHT!! Anyway, and last, but not least, I can't forget my all-star goalie, the one, the only, Williams Roy. Sure, he may be a crybaby and a hothead, but he sure knows how to win.
Of course, the Abobos had to copy my idea of an all-star team and created one of their own. Bunch of stupid copycats! First of all, they have Bolo Brodeur in goal and man that guy is a brick wall! I mean, geez, anyone would be a brick wall if they took steroids like this guy! He eats them like they are candy or something. They also have the legendary Burnov “Boom Boom” Geoffrion, and let me tell you, that guy can slap the puck...really hard! Like harder than when I can't control myself and I slap Marian on the butt and she gets really mad at me because the force caused her to spill coffee all over her brand new dress and she complains that it's ruined and then I have to sleep on the couch for a week and get my Nintendo taken away and...oh, sorry. I seem to be getting sidetracked. They also have Jawbreaker Jagr playing for them, and like the other Abobos, he's a 'roid monkey too! But that mullet he sports is so...dreamy! And of course, it wouldn't be a Bimmy vs. Abobo match-up without the likes of Bo Abobo. For this game he is playing defense and, get this, he is calling himself Bo Abo-Bourque and claims to be the best defenseman in the world! Psssh, more like Bo Abo-DORK! Oh, and you wouldn't believe what these guys are calling their team! They're calling themselves the Broad Street Bullies because they think they're going to bully us around on the ice and get revenge for their golf loss. Broad Street Bullies...more like Broad Street BUTTHEADS! I'm not worried about these guys getting revenge at all. First of all, they don't even know how to spell it correctly. They think it's spelled “RUHVENJ.” Secondly, they've taken so many steroids that their brains have been shrunk to a size smaller than a hockey puck and they'll be lucky if they even know how to hold a hockey stick. And lastly, they sent me some threatening letter saying that if my team won, they would hurt Marian...or worse. Let me tell you, there's NO way they will ever hurt Marian. She can be one mean, tough, and vindictive bitch! I dare you, I just dare one of you to try to change the channel when she is trying to watch Jersey Shore. I tried doing it once and she twisted my arm behind my back so hard I screamed like a girl...I mean, I took it like a champ. Look, just because I cried “uncle” doesn't mean I'm a pussy or anything...no matter what Marian might tell you. Anyway, it's time to throw on our sweaters (yes, they're called sweaters and NOT jerseys in hockey), lace up our ice skates, tape up our stick blades, throw on our helmets, and take to the ice for a good old game of Ice Hockey. Here are the rules (not like the Abobos will follow them anyway):
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1 player only
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Choose USA as your team and Canada as the CPU team
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Play on Speed 1, Time 7
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Choose whichever size players you want
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Play a whole game and at the end, take a picture of the score
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Your score will be the differential between your score and the computer’s score
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In the event of a tie, whoever has scored more goals breaks the tie (ex. Two people tie with 5. One person has scored 10 goals, while the other one has scored 15 goals. The 15 goal scorer takes precedence).
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Greatest differential between goals for (goals you scored) and goals against (goals you allowed) wins. A positive score takes preference over a negative score (ex. A differential of 10 takes precedence over a score of -20. Purposely losing to the computer by 20 goals does not give you a better differential than a person who beats the computer by 10 goals. Positive scores take precedence over negative scores regardless of differential).
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Ex: USA 10 Canada 5 = score of 5
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Ex: USA 5 Canada 10 = score of -5
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Participation: Play an entire game
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GENRE: Sports
The contest ends Sunday, 3/5/17 at 11 PM NA time. Your user name MUST be written or typed on a piece of paper and be in the picture for your score to be valid. The entire TV screen, or computer monitor if you are playing on an emulator, MUST be in the picture for the score to be valid. No partial screenshots will be considered or accepted. No screenshots by hitting "print screen" on a computer will be allowed. You must take a picture of your computer monitor. There may be instances where this will be acceptable, but it will be at the discretion of myself and the contest organizers. Also, the use of turbo controllers is forbidden, as well as any cheat codes, Game Genies, slow motion functions, or save states if playing on an emulator. Also, we will only be using NTSC systems for the contests. The use of PAL systems will NOT be allowed. Good luck everyone and have fun
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My NES collection count: 757 games (16 to go for a full set)
Latest Purchase(s): Snow Brothers
"Wait...Bimmy and Jimmy?? How'd they make a mistake like this!? Bimmy isn't even a real name!"
Beware the Bimmy Marsh!
Proud owner of post #2000, #2900, and #3800 in Inner Circle HQ thread
